Pulp Fiction, anyone?

You might say that the stress level at the house is a little higher than usual. We leave tomorrow afternoon for Ohio. We have to be packed for 9 days, 5 parties and Christmas, including gifts for exchanging in Ohio. When we return home, Santa will have already come.

The children seem to sense this and adjust their behavior accordingly. They adjust it to code red a#$hole. I have yelled more in the last two days than in the previous two months.

Kat (exasperated): "If I have to tell you guys to stop running and stop screaming one more time, my head will explode!"

Jackson walks into my office and sits down in my lap. He puts his hand on my face.

Jackson: "I don' wan' yer hed to esplode. Den my face will be aw messeee."

Kink in the hose

Jackson has always been the kind of kid who stripped down naked to pee. He also mounted the toilet seat backward, like a horse. He would sit facing the toilet tank. Recently, he grew tired of taking off his shoes to pee, which I can totally understand. He noticed that John stood at the toilet to pee. He was fascinated by this and started saying "I 'tand up, wike Daddy. I 'tand up, mama!"

We had some discussions about the toilet seat rules: stand to pee - lift the seat. Sit to pee - leave the seat down. I thought that I had adequately addressed the standing to pee etiquette.

I was getting ready for a holiday party with my doula network. Jackson from the kitchen into the bathroom. A moment or two later, I hear...

Jackson: "Aw, man!"

I go into the bathroom and he is standing at the toilet. He looks up at me.

Jackson: [sigh] "I pee in my haiw, mom!"

I look down and sure enough, his bangs on the left side of his face are wet. I also notice that he didn't get himself completely out of his pants. Instead, his penis was pinched in the waistband of the pants, pointing straight up - kind of like when you pinch the end of a hose. I also noticed that the entire wall to his left was dripping wet. It took me a good three minutes to stop laughing and explain the scene to the rest of the family in the kitchen. Once we all laughed and Jackson realized I wasn't mad, he thought it was quite funny too.

Oh god. She doesn't even know what decade.

Bella: "Mom? What year were you born? 19... 18... What?"

That's my girl.

I've added a new service to my doula business. I have been learning to turn the placenta into a nutritional supplement. It is steamed, dehydrated, ground and then put into capsules. In the Chinese medicine tradition, taking the placenta capsules can help prevent postpartum depression and help support the milk supply.

I went last night to finish a placenta encapsulation with my most recent client. The kids were interested in what I was doing. Maddie was particularly interested in the details and if I had "eaten" the placenta after our babies were born. (Unfortunately, I didn't know about placenta encapsulation after having our kids.)

Tonight, we were driving a few girls to gymnastics. Maddie sat in the front and the three girls were chatting in the back. One of the girls was telling a story about a "friend" of hers whose "cousin" had a baby and decided the baby wasn't cute. So, she handed the baby to a visitor to hold and then she left and never came back. Now, of course, these are the kinds of stories kids tell and repeat, so I didn't say anything. Then they started talking about pregnancy and how they wished you could just get a baby, but they didn't want to have to be pregnant or "have" the baby. I said that both are fun. We chatted a little bit more. I said that the woman who left her baby sounds like she was depressed and that can happen sometimes after having a baby. Sometimes people need some help after having a baby.

Maddie: "She needed some of those placenta vitamins you make. And a doula."

Gross anatomy

Jackson seems to have a little bit of a stomach bug. I thought initially he ate too much Indian food. I picked him up today and buckled him in the car.

Kat: "How's your belly feel?"

Jackson: "It feews yuckeee."

Kat: "Awwww. It does?"

Jackson: "Missaddie sez dat I hab dia... dia... a poop diary."


At school today, Jackson asked his teacher if she has heard of "Golddigger". (The kids absolutely love the version of Golddigger from the Glee soundtrack.) Addie hadn't heard of it. Her husband came in and he hadn't really heard of it either. They looked it up on iTunes and found it.

Addie (to her husband): "It's not by Kanye West, is it? It can't be by Kanye West."

Jackson: "NO! It's by Gwee! It's by Gwee!"

Addie scrolled down and saw the version of "Golddigger" by the Glee Cast. She was amazed. She said that she couldn't believe that she was being introduced to new music by a three year old. She downloaded it and played it for the kids. They begged for her to play it again while they decorated their Christmas cookies. The kids danced and bopped their heads. Jackson, at one point, put his hand behind his head and broke out the half-sprinkler move. That's my boy. Livin' the thug life.

Close. Really close.

Bella (singing): "You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Connor and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen."

Nelson Mandela, eat your heart out.

Bella: "You know how girls make groups of 'sassy threes'?"

Kat: "I'm not sure what you mean."

Bella: "You know, like, when they are just a group of three girls and they don't want to be friends with anyone else and they act really sassy?"

Kat: "Yeah. Sadly, grownups do that too."

Bella: "Well, these three girls were acting like they didn't want to be friends with me because all three of them were black and I'm not. So, I said, 'Guys, I thought we all decided a long time ago that black people and white people can all be friends!' I thought that was really rude."

Uh, TMI, Dude.

While snuggling in bed this morning...

Kat: "Jackson, are you still my baby?"

Jackson: "Yep. [long pause] But I don' suck on boobs anymore."

A Good little Fella

Bella stayed home sick today and we were running a few errands. Jackson and Bella were playing with a few figures in the back seat. I overhear something that doesn't sound quite right.

Jackson: [in a deep voice] "If you talk ta me, I kiwl you."

Kat: "Jackson!"

Jackson: [in a slightly higher, slightly softer voice] "If you talk ta me, I kiwl you."

I paused to hide my laughter. He noticed anyway.

Jackson: [in a much higher, much squeakier voice] "If you talk ta me, I kiiiiiiiiiiiiwl you."

Just figurin' out the rules, ma'am

Jackson bit Bella. After I recovered from the ear-piercing scream, I put Jackson in his room, mostly for his own safety. After a minute or two, he came out.

Jackson: "I weady to say I sowwy, mom."

Kat: "Jackson, you have to stop hurting people. If you bite Bella again, I'm going to put you to bed for the night."

Jackson: "An' I not come out?"

Kat: "Not for the whole night. It is *not* okay to hurt people."

He thought for a minute and I was rather proud of myself for really getting through to him.

Jackson: "Whad if I kick 'er?"

The time-space continuum is a tricky thing.

Thanks to the magic of Daylight Savings Time and parents that forgot to help her change the time on her alarm clock, Maddie came down at 5:30 am today. They usually get up at 6:30 for school.

Maddie: "It's 6:30! Why aren't you guys up?"

Kat: "No, it's 5:30. The time changed."

Maddie: "AGAIN?!?"

Gender wars

Miss Addie, Jackson's teacher, reported that he is able to identify many colors. They did a color matching game and he knew all the colors except two. When she was introducing white and pink to him, he was resistant.

Jackson: "No. Doze are geerrl co-wers."

Pants? Jacket? No?

Jackson wanted to go outside and play with 'the big boys'. He was wearing nothing but a short sleeved t-shirt. He went upstairs and came back with a sweater vest.

Kat: "What's that for?"

Jackson: "To weaw. 'Cause it's chiwwy out."

Get to the point, woman!

Jackson: "When I gethome fwom skool, ken I wach "TootnPuddow?"

Kat: "Toot and Puddle? I don't know. We'll see."

Jackson: "Yeserno, mom."

Kat: "I can't say yes or no, Jackson. We'll have to see how it goes."

Jackson: "Yeeeeeeeeees.... erno, mama."

Kat: "Jackson, sometimes I can't answer yes or no. Sometimes, it's maybe. Or I don't know."



and another thing...

Jackson: "I wan a bear vitamin."

Kat: "You can't have a bear vitamin right now."

Jackson: "But I wan won."

Kat: "You don't take the bear vitamin unless you need it."

Jackson: "But I neeeeeeeeeeed it."

Kat: [growing frustrated] "The bear vitamin is fiber. It makes you poop."

Jackson pauses. He thinks for a minute.

Jackson: "Dats okay. I wike poopin."

Could stand to have a few more like this one.

Maddie: "I just unpacked three boxes in my room. I put some toys that I don't want in the boxes. My room is completely clean and my bed is made. I'm going to go downstairs and sit on the couch and knit."

And we do?!?!

John: "Why is there a dead bird in a plastic box in the driveway?"

Bella: "It flew into the neighbor's window, but their dad didn't want them keeping a dead bird."

It's a flying circus, all right.

A few months ago, John decided that he had to introduce the kids to Monty Python. I disagreed, but he showed them some clips from The Holy Grail anyway. The kids thought that it was all hilarious. Liam especially loved it.

A few weeks ago, Jackson and I were driving in the car. He was talking to himself, and then began talking to me.

Jackson: "What is yersname?"

Kat: "What?"

Jackson: "What... is yersname?"

Kat: "Um... Kat Hickey?"

Jackson: "No. Say 'mama'."

Kat: "Okay. 'Mama.'"

Jackson: "What is yersqwest?"

I got it then.



So, I had him do it on video for you. Enjoy.

For those who've never seen the original:

Food deprivation

The kids were discussing what other people ate for lunch at school. Bella mentioned a twinkie.

Maddie: "What's a twinkie?"

Liam: "You know, like in 'Wall-E', the only food left?"

Maddie: "Oh, yeah! Do people actually *eat* those?!"

Can the Dude read?!

A few weeks ago, Jackson and I were packing up books. He was putting the books he wanted in his room in his box. Jackson turned to me and handed me a board book.

Jackson: "I don' wan dis one. Iz in Spanish."

I looked at it and... it was! I laughed and chalked it up to typical Jackson randomness.

Then, a today, my cell was ringing. He brought it to me and said: "Mom, yers fone wringing. Iz Gramma Dot."

I looked at the phone ID and it said "Dot Rapp". Well, I'll be damned.

GLEE!

I've been watching a new show called 'Glee' on FOX. It's about a high school glee club/show choir. It's got some adult undertones and complex characters, so it's much more interesting than it sounds. It's so quirky and fun that I find myself being a little geeky-addicted to it. They do some really fun renditions of normal tunes. Although they can't watch the whole show, I've let the kids watch some of the tunes on hulu.

Yesterday, I let the kids watch the GLEE rendition of Kanye's 'Golddigger'. As soon as the song started, I asked Liam what song it sounded like. He said, 'Golddigger'. Duh. "No. What older song is this a remake of?" I said. He thought for a minute... sang along for a minute or two.

Liam: "I Got a Woman."

Kat [beaming with pride]: "by...?"

Liam [thinking aloud]: "Charles... Charles? Ray Charles!"

My work here is done.

What am I, sliced bread?

Jackson: "Wait. I not go to skool today?"

Kat: "No, honey. You don't go to school today."

Jackson: "An da kids go to skool today?"

Kat: "Yes, the kids go to school today."

Jackson: "I sad. When I no go to skool, I sad."

It starts.

Jackson has begun to have more of an opinion on the clothing he wears. All summer long, he wanted to wear his "Keens". They weren't technically a Keen shoe, but a similar shoe/sport sandal hybrid that he was able to put on and take off easily himself. If you asked him about his shoes, he'd reply, "No! Doze are my Keeeeeeens!" He would also tell unsuspecting strangers: "Deez are my keens. Gwama Dot bott dem for me."

My mom brought him a super-cute new jacket when she came up for Maddie's birthday. He *loves* it! It is all a chocolate brown color with soft sleeves and hood. I got down a different jacket for him to wear to school on Tuesday (because it matched his outfit) and he looked frustrated. "No, maaaaahm. I wanna wear de udder jacket. De one dat Gwamma Dot got me at Owd Naby."

Cute, but deadly.

Jackson has discovered that he is cute. He knew before, but now it's on a whole new level. When we are out in public, he will put on a performance if he notices that people are watching him. Case in point: Jackson was hanging out at Miss Addie's because his mother was running a few minutes late to pick him up from preschool. (who... me?) She asked him if he'd like a banana and he said yes. One of the other kids needed something at that moment and she moved on and forgot about Jackson's banana. After a few minutes, Jackson noticed both that he didn't have his banana *and* that Miss Addie's husband was watching him.

Jackson: "Jus' get me my 'nana, woman!"

Feelin' a little meloncholy...

I woke up this morning and discovered that a watermelon had exploded on the kitchen counter. The smell was absolutely putrid. I can't even express the horrid-ness of the odor. I was shocked to see the distance that the rotten pulp traveled. I would say that there was rotten watermelon innard within a 3-4 foot radius of the actual watermelon. It was just sitting there on the counter, looking innocent, with a 3-4 inch incision in it's rind.

The best part is that it imploded this morning while John was the only one awake and was in the kitchen surfing the interwebs and drinkin' his coffee. When I told him about it later, he was relieved because it had freaked him out completely when he heard something splash in the sink full of water and soaking dishes. "I thought it was something supernatural," he said. I wish I had videotaped him demonstrating how he tentatively picked up a wooden spoon and poked and prodded the murky dishwater in an attempt to discover the source of the splashing...

Of course.

Bella and Liam had been gone for a few hours, so I sent Maddie to find them for dinner. Bella comes flying in reporting where she had been and why she was authorized to be there. Maddie comes in behind her.

Maddie: "It's easy to find Bella in the neighborhood. She left a trail of salami." [holds up three pieces of salami as evidence]



Jackson: "Mom, can you make my smoovie not so mustach-ey? It givin' me a smoovie mustache."

I could see where you would get that...

Jackson's got a little cold and a big cough, so he stayed home from preschool today. One of our wonderful new neighbors came by this morning with a little note and a plate full of coffee cake. When Jackson was ready to eat, he came into the kitchen and was dismayed to discover that the kids had finished off the last box of Cinnamon Life (also known as "wife seeweeul"). He prepared to throw a fit and I asked if he'd like to try some coffee cake. He stopped crying and looked up, astonished. I told him the neighbor had made it for us.

Jackson: "She make cawfee cake for feel better my cough?"

Thug life...

Jackson put John's baseball hat on and then turned it backwards.

Jackson: "Whathup, yos? Whathup, dogs? Whathup, thuckers?" (suckers)

That's how we roll...

Jackson is standing in the kitchen looking at a box of wine glasses.

Jackson: "What you doing wif dose?"

Kat: "Packing them up to take them to the new house."

Jackson: "You dwink wine wif dem wif your fwends?"

Busted.

She was saying something about how I don't pay attention. I don't know, I wasn't listening.

Kat: "Good morning, Jackson! Time for school!"

Jackson [sleepily]: "Hooray!"

[long pause]

Jackson: "Wait, what you sayd?"

Kat: "Time for school."

Jackson: "Yipee! I wuv school!"

A brief glimpse

In looking for something in my sent items folder, I discovered that I send one-line emails rather frequently. Much of the time, they are to John, but I have a few select friends that are the beneficiaries of my quick wit/short attention span.

Here's a sample and perhaps a small glimpse into my brain. What might be even funnier is for John (and Jordan and Koren and...) to do a separate post of some his one liner emails and we make a game of it trying to match the question to the response...

I'm not sure if you are checking email at all, but I wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts, friend. I'll be sending you Reiki tonight. Love you.

Um. Where the hell did I put my hotel vouchers?

Chipotle!?! I'm so jealous. I desperately want 'Pot or Taj today. MAJOR craving.

Liam plugged up the main toilet. Please teach him to plunge it when you get home.

I can't take the antici...

Will you email me some of your notes before make this phone call? I feel like if I call right now, I'll get all flustered and screw it up.

1. Babysitter confirmed.
2. Moved your Hickey vs. Wild videos to the red external hard drive under Movies. Damn laptop couldn't do sh%t with a full hard drive.

Found the ipod to TV cord. It's only the beginning. Manifest me finding the camera.

...pation.

Will you be home for the summer? I have a former client looking for a nanny.

Agent called at 10:30 am. He left me a pretty normal message. Doesn't sound desperate enough to satisfy me. Yet.

That sucks. Sorry you lost everything. I have a crapload of contact info so let me know if you need any emails or anything.

No news here. Kids gone to Ohio. Headed up to school to do the formal registration stuff, then oil change for the van and a little shopping for my trip. Status update on your end?

I sent you everything in one email, but it was big. (that's what she said) Let me know whether you get it or not! Thanks.

My NCAA bracket is in. I used my pendulum to pick the champion. Seriously.

Found the check you left me under the mat at the front door. You wrote it five months ago. After I found it, I put it somewhere safe. Still looking.

It appears the missing is mutual. Jackson just came in the room saying, "I wan go Gramma house. I wan go Gramma house."

Any interest in checking this out on Sunday? Live music, family friendly, out doors, beer garden. Did I have you at hello?

Hey - sorry to hear about your grandma. I'm hoping her transition brings some peace to your whole family. Is there any time that's better or worse for me to come by today to get my crap?

Thanks for the offer. I would love to, but I have these damn kids.

Sorry - I manifested perfection and sent Reiki. I hadn't even considered the possibility that it could have been otherwise...

Very deep breaths. Pace yourself. You're just opening windows so the universe can send money flying in...

Oh.my.god. That is glorious, gorgeous and otherwise amazing!!! You are so talented.

No problem! Just getting ready to get The Dude a nap.

Hey- on your way home, would you stop and get beer, coffee and "C" batteries? The damn crackling on the wireless speakers is driving me to distraction.

Señor Diablo-

Es aceptable el pizza para la cena hoy?
[Is pizza acceptable for dinner today?]

La Diosa

John had his car detailed and they found the check you wrote me under the seat. I don't even really remember losing it. Perhaps that means my mind is also under the seat in his car, because it's been lost far longer.

Well, I attended a birth on Saturday and a birth on Sunday, so the weekend ended up being pretty full! How's tomorrow?

Damn. That escalated quickly.

Love it. Make it so, #1.

No problem. They are sword fighting right now, complete with sound effects and falling to the ground dead. :)

Nice. Damn. Money is growing on trees around here. Keep it up, baby!

Call me on lunch. Liam spilled an entire glass of cranberry juice on the white carpet in his bedroom. I'm sorry. I killed him.

Rhinestone Cowboy

My good friend Jordan recently had a baby, then went on to have gallbladder surgery a few weeks later. I called her house on Friday to offer my help and agreed to help today with her four year old son. Her husband said he'd talk to Jordan and let me know whether I would have him over at our house or go to their place and help out. I mentioned to John over the weekend that I might be at Jordan's house on Monday and also asked Jackson if he'd like to have a playdate with Jordan's son. He was thrilled.

Tonight, Jordan's husband called and told me that Jordan would love to have the quiet and could we have the playdate at our house. Later on, John and I were getting ready for bed.

Kat: "I'm not going to Jordan's tomorrow, Owen is coming here."

John: "Did you say Owen?"

Kat: "Yes, Owen."

John: "O-wen?"

Kat: "Yes, Owen. What is your deal?"

John: "That's Jordan's son?"

Kat: "Yeah. Jackson calls him 'Cowboy Owen'."

John: "Oh my gosh. I was talking to Jackson yesterday and he was telling me about hanging out with 'Cowboy Owen'. I kept saying, 'Jackson, what are you saying?' and he would say 'Cow-boy Ow-wen, dad! Cow-boy Ow-wen!' And John would ask, 'Are you saying, Cow-boy Ow-wen?' Jackson would reply, 'Yeah, dad. Cow-boy Ow-wen!' I was wondering what in the world you do here when I'm not home."

Doula video

Thanks to a lovely client, friend and fellow doula, our local doula network has a few opportunities to educate the community and student nurses about doulas. We are working on a brief video to show what it is that doulas do. Here's the original video I created for a community education seminar in February. Any feedback or input for improving is welcome...

Dasia 319 - short film

The kids and I did a short film on Saturday. It was part of a 48 hour short film contest, they drew an idea and had to write the script, shoot and edit it in 48 hours. Look for our cameos!

Taking advantage of his cuteness

The kids have a horrible cough, so I had a bottle of homeopathic cough syrup on the night stand. I went to get everything set up for tonight and discovered that the bottle that should be half-full was completely empty on the floor. I yelled. (it's expensive)

Kat: "Jackson, who drank all this cough syrup?"
Jackson: "Oh, Mee-yum did it."
Kat: "Liam! Leeeee-um!"

Liam: "I didn't drink that, mom."
Kat: "Jackson, who did you say drank the cough syrup?"
Jackson, looking hesitantly at Liam: "Mee-um did." Jackson smiles, realizing that he's busted.
He thinks for a moment. "Mom, I did it. It was a 'stake."

Kat: "A mistake?"
Jackson: "Yeah. I wea-wee sow-wee Mom. It was a 'stake."

Hypochondriasis.

Bella: "I don't feel well since Maddie's been gone. I have a runny nose. Do I *ever* have a runny nose when Maddie's here? NO!"

Jackson gasps. Jackson: "I have a wunny nose too!"

Happy Father's Day!

Maddie has been saying for days that she wanted to interview the kids about John and make a video for Father's Day. I helped a little, editing out Liam's constant interruptions during Bella's interview and adding a few titles. But, truly, the vision and the finished product were all hers.

Homeland Security

I had a few moments alone to do some shopping, so I took the opportunity to buy John's Father's Day gift alone and early. I was really proud of myself for not waiting until the actual day of the event to buy a gift. I brought everything out on to the ottoman and had the kids help wrap everything and make cards. I never even thought to tell Jackson that the gift was a secret. I had to run out to a meeting and left the kids with a babysitter. When John got home, Jackson greeted him at the door.

Jackson: "Dad! We got you a pwesent!"

John: "Thanks!"

Jackson: "It's a cawfee-makrrrr!"

Kids [in chorus]: "Jackson, NOOOOOOOO!"

The kids broke the news to me the next morning. When we finally opened presents on Father's Day, I brought out the gifts and John made the most of it.

John: "Wow! I wonder what this gift is?"

Jackson: "Dad, It's a cawfee-makrrrr! I towd you, it's a cawfee-makrrrr!"

Sharing

Jackson's developing a funny little personality. For a long time, he was just charming. If he didn't agree with something I said, we could discuss it civilly. Then, we went on the cruise and he lost his mind. After a week or so of reigning him back in, I'm really pleased that it was only temporary insanity. Even still, he is headed into the "threes" and he is just a little spicier than he used to be.

Yesterday, I stopped and got him a snack when we were running errands.

Kat: "Jackson, can I have one of your crackers?"
Jackson, without hesitation: "Nope."
Kat: "May I please have one of your crackers?"
Jackson: "No sanks."
Kat: "Why not?"
Jackson, pointing to the wrapper: "Wite dere. It sez 'not for mama'."

Jackson strikes again!

Jackson has been very quotable this vacation. Here are two little tidbits:

I called the kids - we were going to go to bounce on the "EuroBungee" - a huge thing at one of the local outdoor malls where you get harnessed in and you can bounce about 20 feet in the air. Really cool.

Liam: "I don't want to go golfing."
Bella: "We're not. We're going bungee jumping."
Maddie: "No. EURO Bungee."
Jackson: "NO. YOU'RE-A- Bungee."


A big part of the mystique of coming down to my dad's place is the legendary muffins served on the golf course. Liam and Maddie went to hit a bucket of balls while I had Bella and Jackson at the pool. My dad returned with a muffin for Jackson, sat him down at the table at the pool and proceeded to break it in half for him. Jackson no likey. Anytime something he's eating breaks in half, he bursts into tears and cries for about 10 minutes, ususally. Unless he's tired, and then it's 20. I usually just walk away from him, but my dad isn't used to it, plus we were in public, so we couldn't just let him cry. It took him about 30 minutes and a ride in the golf cart to get over it.

So, last night we were driving back from the beach and he was eating a breakfast bar and... it broke. We all braced ourselves for the tears that would come. And they came. I gave him some suggestions:
Kat: "Can you put it back together?"
Jackson: "Noooooooo...."
Kat: "Should we throw it out the window?"
Jackson looks out the window and sees people walking by. He laughs. "I fwow it out da window an hit dat guy! Ahahahahaha! Ahahahaha! I fwow it out da window!"

He laughs for a little while and then says. "Gwapa. I 'powogize. I 'powogize."

Famous! or is it Infamous...?

I got a casting call notice a few weeks ago that a local film production company was looking for an 8-10 year old girl and a 4-6 year old boy for a regional commercial. I sent Maddie's picture and they called, wanting to screen test her. When I got there (with all four kids, of course), they ended up screen testing Jackson with Maddie to see how she would interact on camera. I got an email the next day saying that Maddie and Jackson (!) were front-runners for being cast in the commercial. I got a call the next day that they were cast and that we would film on Monday!

We filmed on the next Monday - it took about 8 hours and the kids did great. Jackson got tired toward the end, but was very responsive and followed instructions well the whole time. Maddie really acted - making subtle changes to her acting and reactions. The director commented on how well she took direction, especially for her age. There were times when Jackson had the entire crew laughing. After the first few hours, he had decided that he had directing down. He started directing himself. The director would say, "and... action!" Then, Jackson would say "and... cut!" The crew would just laugh. At another point, the director was cuing Maddie to walk up to the table and stand behind the mom - the scene you see at the end of the commercial. The director called action, then said, "and... Maddie" and Maddie walked up and stood behind the mom. Then, Jackson waited a moment, stood up and said, "and... Jackson!" and walked up next to Maddie. That final scene wasn't supposed to have Jackson in it, but as you see, he knew he had a little something to bring to the scene! So, with no further adieu...

Transferred from Facebook...

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.

1. I have way too many interests. This results in me having no idea what to do first for most of my life.

2. I think I may win some kind of award for most diverse resume. I have held the following positions: Montessori teacher’s assistant, lifeguard, professional singer/daner/actress, retail clothing store clerk (some of you may be able to guess what store), dance instructor, summer camp counselor, transcriptionist, medical secretary, event vocalist, Reiki practitioner, birth assistant, health food store sales associate, standardized patient for medical school, and birth doula.

3. In the time between getting my driver’s license at 16 and turning 18, I was pulled over and let off with a warning 7 times. I spoke very respectfully and I think the officers felt sorry for me.

4. I was a horrible student. I rarely studied and almost never completed any assignments. I have no idea how I graduated high school and completed almost three years of college. Probably the same way I got out of #3.

5. I think I got pregnant with Liam to escape the fact that I didn’t know what I wanted to do in college and I wanted a way out. And then I got pregnant six months later with Maddie, which was the nail in the coffin for my college career.

6. I love attending births. There is something incredibly magical about being present at the birth of a new soul. Being with a woman in labor, supporting her, tapping into her energy field is like meditation for me. When I am most in tune with a laboring mom, I am most myself.

7. I want to take my career to another level. I love working with expectant couples and attending births, but I am sad when the birth is over. It feels like families still continue to need support and information, especially if they are making non-mainstream choices. I would love to be a nurse practitioner also and be able to care for families. Or, a CNM and run a birth center. Or a doctor, so I could effect change on a larger scale. But, alas, #3.

8. I have a bizarre obsession with being liked. If someone doesn’t like me, I theorize that it is because they do not know or understand me, so I go to great lengths to explain myself or have someone else defend me. I’m hoping I grow out of it.

9. My husband and I met in West Side Story. He played Bernardo and I played Maria – we were brother and sister in the show. We really didn’t care for each other much at first.

10. I got pregnant with Liam when John and I had been dating for a year. John was 19 and I was 20. My mom and dad’s support at the time saved me. I have such incredible sympathy and compassion for women who find themselves in an unplanned pregnancy and do not have the unconditional love and financial support that I had. Without my parents’ support, I don’t think Liam would be here, in this life with me as my son. I don’t know what I would have chosen, but I know I would have regretted anything other than the choice that I did make.

11. Having Liam when I did totally changed the course of my life. John and I might not have ended up together and that would have been criminal. I was floundering, with no idea what I wanted to do and having Liam gave me purpose. Becoming a mother was the first step down this path that I was destined to take.

12. Giving birth to Maddie at home before the midwife arrived changed me. In that birth, I found my power. After that, I knew I was unstoppable.

13. I think my children are extraordinary. I admire their sense of humor and willingness to be open to the world. I hope that they realize how much I respect them and give them space to be individuals. I hope that when they look back on their childhood, they remember the love and the fun.

14. I was once kinda almost fluent in Spanish. I love speaking it. I loved being in Spain and in Mexico and I can’t wait to go back. It is really important to me that the kids learn to speak Spanish too.

15. I enjoy researching and knowing the answers to questions. I pride myself in my ability to find answers online really quickly.

16. I really miss music and dance in my life. When I spend time rehearsing to sing for a wedding or find myself dancing with the kids, it’s like the first day of spring when you can finally open the windows and play the music loud. And then I wonder why it’s been so long since the last time I felt that alive.

17. I am so happy that I finally have a group of really great girlfriends. Some are local and some are all over the country. Having girlfriends and a community of people makes me feel safe and understood.

18. I am fascinated by local food. I love knowing the people who raise and care for the food I feed my family. I get great joy out of exchanging money for quality food, knowing that my money goes to the local producer.

19. I am enthralled by energy healing. I have taken my Reiki I and II trainings and I am constantly learning more about energy work. I think what I really want is to be the neighborhood shaman that you come to when you’re pregnant, sick, or struggling. I think that the words that a health care provider uses are just as powerful, if not more powerful than the medicine. I choose my words with my clients carefully.

20. My husband amazes me. We have taken such a long, difficult road to get here. When I married him, I had no idea the man he would become. And I am really glad I took the leap of faith.

21. I love photography, music, theater, dance, crafting, decorating, but I can’t draw worth a crap.

22. I really enjoy writing. I find it much easier to express myself through writing. I loved writing on my blog and need to carve out more time to write on it again.

23. I also love talking. Many times when we go to an event for the whole family, John wants to drive separate so that he doesn’t have to wait for me to finish chatting with everyone.

24. I spend a crazy amount of time managing media in my life. Between the pictures, the music and movies, I’ve got 360 gigs of information that I really should spend some time organizing but I have no idea where to start.

25. I want to change the world. I want to leave a legacy of happy, healthy babies and their families whose lives are intangibly better because of my support and love.