The Ongoing Adventures of the Hoosier Hickeys

Mood swings

2011-11-04T13:24:00.000-05:00

The Dude has been a little moody lately. Could be a growth spurt, could be immune system down, could be not enough sleep, could be too much Halloween candy. Either way, he's like a time bomb the last few days.

Today, the horrible injustice the Universe bestowed upon him was: he didn't like his oatmeal with kefir in it. He usually has it with milk and maple syrup and I suggested he try it with kefir this time. He got it all set up, tried it, and cried. I offered him solutions and he chose to try to rinse the kefir off of the oatmeal. So, we got a strainer out, rinsed the bowl, spoon and oatmeal and put it all back together.

Kat: "Jackson, you know that what I'm doing right now is exceptional, right? I'm taking time to help you fix the problem."

Jackson: (moping) "Yes, mama. I know dat."

He sits back down, we re-assemble the oatmeal the usual way and warm it up. He sits down and begins eating in silence.

After a long pause, Jackson: "Thank you, mama. I'm sowwy I yewwed."

I could see how you could get that.

2011-10-23T08:03:00.001-05:00

Jackson: "I sink I know why dey call dis 'A-1 Sauce'."

John: "Why?"

Jackson: (pointing to the bottle) "'Cause it has an 'A' here and a '1" here. And 'cause it's 'sauce'."

We were discussing a child Liam knows who has a bit of an attitude.

Liam: "Well, don't ask him if he's seen 'Snoop-Dog Millionaire'."

Kat: "Um. Don't you mean 'Slumdog Millionaire'?"

I do not think it means what you think it means.

2011-09-05T16:04:00.000-05:00

Kat: "Jackson, do you need to use the bathroom?"

Jackson: "Ummmmm, yeah. But I need some books."

Kat: "Okay, would you like me to get you some books and meet you in the bathroom?"

Jackson: "Um, yeah. I want the Frankenstein Bears books. I think we have, like, six of 'em."

Well played, Bella. Well played.

2011-08-30T17:58:00.004-05:00

Bella was taking pictures of John walking around in his underwear, getting changed after work. John caught her taking the picture.

John: "If you take pictures of me like that and send them to anybody, I will end you. You do not want to play the game of 'who can embarrass each other more' with me..."

Bella: (interrupting) "I'm not! I can't send it to anybody, anyway."

John: "...because I don't go to school and you do. It would be waaaay too easy to embarrass you."

Bella: "Well, you do go to work. And you're the boss."

Back to school

2011-08-24T13:41:00.003-05:00

I took Jackson to his first day of preschool yesterday. I took him into his classroom and the assistant showed him where to put his things away. I got ready to leave and hugged him to say goodbye. As I pulled away from the hug, he whispered, "I have no idea what I'm supposed to do."

Despite the fact that I drive Jackson to the Montessori school that he attends, he wanted to walk to the bus stop where the other three kids get picked up every morning. So, he put his backpack on and walked to the end of our road. I came and picked him up and played "bus driver", asking him his name and how things were going. When we got back home, he asked me to let him off at the bus stop and he walked home.

Maddie was talking about applying to be on the Student Council.

Liam: "Student Council is really boring. All they do is talk about trying to improve the school and junk like that."

Random thoughts from random Hickeys

2011-08-23T20:17:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was our day to pick up the CSA boxes at the farm. When we loaded the 18th watermelon into the car, The Dude exclaimed, "Mama! Where are we going to put all these watermelons in the house?!?!"

I was talking with Maddie over the weekend after attending a friend's blessingway. We were discussing how it can be difficult to be "different" in a world that values "sameness" and how to both fit in and still be your own individual self.

 Kat: "The thing is: most people don't think about the world the way we do."
  Maddie: "I think the thing is: most people don't think about the world."

Those weird people who get married, THEN have kids...

2011-06-27T12:49:00.003-05:00

Maddie, Bella and I are driving to a party. We are discussing my brother Paul's upcoming wedding. Background: Maddie and Liam were the flower girl and ring bearer in our wedding. My brother, Kevin, had his wife's son, Logan, as the ring bearer in their wedding, and then went on to adopt Logan not long after.

Bella: "So, I'm the flower girl. Is there anyone else?"

Kat: "No, just Logan."

Bella: "Logan's a *flower girl*?!"

Kat: "No. Logan is the ring bearer and you are the flower girl."

Bella: "So, why is it us?"

I prepared to give an explanation about Logan and Bella being their Uncle Paul's godchildren, but Maddie beat me to the punch.

Maddie: "Well, Paul and Linda don't have their own kids yet, so they have to have someone else's kids be in their wedding."

Douchebag kids

2011-06-13T13:03:00.000-05:00

Please pardon the indelicate language, but I really don't have another word for it that doesn't involve profanity. We also often refer to these kids as "shit-head" kids, too. I posted an article on Facebook about a week ago that really addressed this issue well. (http://www.details.com/sex-relationships/marriage-and-kids/200711/are-you-raising-a-douchebag?currentPage=1) Then, we hosted an end of school party for Maddie and about eleven of her friends. We got to see this behavior in action and it was spectacular.

There was one particular child who really stood out in this realm. I will attempt to defend my diagnosis of this behavior with examples below. Keep in mind that this child is going into 6th grade.

Exhibit A:

Maddie carefully planned the food and drink for the party. We had some foods that were what we call "compromise foods". For parties, we don't serve hard-core paleo or all grass-fed meat, unless that is the eating style of all the attendees. We thought that all-beef hot dogs, beef sliders, fruits and veggies, chips and dip and pretzels were a good compromise - kids would eat it and we didn't have to feel bad about serving it. Since we don't allow our kids to have soda, we put out lemonade, water, real fruit juice and we made a sparkling juice drink with sparkling water and juice concentrate. Kind of like an Izze, but without the price tag and all those bottles.

The Kid: [looks at the drinks set out on the counter] What is there to drink?

Kat: [gesturing to the counter in front of him] "Right here. Take your pick."

The Kid: "Ummmmmm... don't you have any Pepsi?!?"

Kat: "Nope, sorry. We don't serve pop to kids. The drink in the pitcher is sweet and carbonated, if you want to try that."

The Kid: [sighs] "That's all right." [walks away]

Exhibit B:

We had told the kids to bring their bathing suits because we would have a water balloon fight, sprinklers, etc. The Kid brought a water gun to share in the water festivities. The weather was a little iffy and it thunderstormed right after everyone arrived, then cleared up after about an hour.

The Kid: "When are we going to the pool?"

Kat: "We aren't planning to go to the pool today."

The Kid: "Then, why he was I supposed to bring my bathing suit?!"

Kat: "Ummmm... because of the water games and the water gun you brought?"

The Kid: "I really wanted to go down to the pool."

Kat: "Yeah. We're staying here tonight."

About an hour later...

The Kid returns with another kid.

The Kid: "We're going to go down to the pool."

Kat: "Um, you can't just go down to the pool. You have to be 14 years old and a resident of our neighborhood to go to the pool alone."

The Kid: "Well, we'll just walk down there and check it out, then."

Kat: "No. You're not going to walk down there and check it out. You were invited to a party here and I am responsible for you. If you would like to go somewhere else, you can call and ask someone to come pick you up."

The Kid looks stunned. He turns and walks away.

Exhibit C - and my favorite

Maddie had baked some cookies and also planned to do s'mores outside at the fireplace. She planned it all out and had everything displayed neatly. The kids were outside making s'mores, happily eating and laughing. Suddenly, Bella enters with The Kid following close behind. They open the fridge and stand in front of it.

Bella: "Well, what do you want? Coconut, goat, what?"

The Kid: "Regular."

Bella: "What do you mean?"

The Kid: "You know, regular milk."

Bella: "What's regular? Like goat milk?"

The Kid: [starting to get irritated] "What?!? NO! I *said* I want *regular milk*!"

Bella: [getting equally irritated] "Would you just tell me what 'regular milk' means to you?!?!"

I desperately wanted to intervene and tell her that 'regular milk' was store-bought cow's milk and that we didn't have any. But I couldn't stop laughing.

So, folks. What do you think? Is my diagnosis accurate?

Slowly breaking him down

2011-06-05T12:45:00.003-05:00

Bella: "Jackson, do you want to take a bath with me?" (she nods, like a car salesman does when they want you to say yes)

Jackson: "No, thanks!"

Bella: "I'll play 'Dream On' on the iPod during the bath..."

Jackson: "No, thanks."

Bella: "I'll let you put any toys you want in the bath *and* I'll play 'Dream On',"

Jackson: "Naaaaaahhhhh..."

Bella: "Okay. I'll let you have one of my toppings at the frozen yogurt place *and* we can put dragons in the bath tub *and* I'll play 'Dream On'."

Jackson: (sigh) "Oooooookay."

Underappreciated for both jobs...

2011-05-11T17:58:00.000-05:00

Liam asked if he could have a friend in the house to play a board game because they were (get this) too sweaty to keep playing outside. Ah, early May, you trickster you.

Friend: "Wow! Your basement is awesome. Wait. What do your parents do? I mean, what is their job?"

Liam: "Well, my dad is the manager of a health care company. He doesn't own it, he just runs the office in Fort Wayne."

Friend: "Okay, yeah. That's pretty good. Healthcare makes a lot of money. What about your mom?"

Liam: "She's a doula. You know, she helps people have babies."

Friend: "Yeah, I know about that. Okay, how does that pay?"

Liam: [quietly] "Um, I don't think that much."

Friend: "Yeah, I'm thinking your dad's job bought most of this."

Liam: "Yeah, he's gone A LOT."

Friend: "Yeah. Usually the one who's gone the most makes most of the money. All I know is I'd trade my whole *house* for your basement!"

just another manic monday

2011-05-04T20:27:00.004-05:00

3:15 pm - pick up Jackson from school.

3:30 pm - arrive home from school. frantically help girls with 5 days worth of missed schoolwork that has to be returned STAT. prepare snacks. change over vacation laundry load 342.

4:30 pm - get everyone prepped to leave. find Jackson's soccer clothes, cleats, shin guards, a size 3 ball that is at least semi-inflated. get Maddie to dress for ballet. have Bella fill up a water bottle for Jackson and grab a snack. wrestle two chairs out of the back of the garage and throw them in the back of the car. change over another load of laundry.

5:02 pm - drop off Jackson at soccer practice that began at 5. leave Bella with him because "parents must remain with preschoolers at all time during practices" and Bella's the closest thing to a parent that we've got available.

5:10 pm - Liam calls from some random kid's cellphone - wondering where I am because I am supposed to pick him up at 5, but no later than 5:15. I say I'm on my way.

5:12 pm - drop off Maddie for ballet class that starts at 5:15.

5:15 pm - pick up Liam from track practice. he announces that he has a band concert (that he just found out about since we were gone the past week in Florida) at 6:30 and he has to be back at school at 6 to prepare.

5:25 pm - run back to Jackson's soccer practice and catch the last few minutes. Jackson has to pee, but there's no time to stop anywhere, so I let him pee under the front of the car, semi-hidden. He thinks it's the best thing he's done all day.

On the drive home, call John - it's too late notice for him to get out of work and get there, so I'm on my own. beg him to pick up something for dinner because my plan to cook has been thwarted by the fact that I won't actually be at home.

5:42 pm - arrive home with Liam, Bella and Jackson. Liam runs in, changes his clothes, puts on deodorant and brushes his teeth (for the love of god and all that's holy), fixes his hair and grabs a snack. everyone pees (except Jackson). walk back out the door.

6 pm - drop off Liam at school.

6:06 pm - pick up Maddie at ballet and break the news that we aren't going back home. call Taj and order carryout. text the man that food has been ordered.

6:10 pm - arrive at Liam's school. schlep the three youngest into the auditorium and find seats. try to keep kids from killing each other and embarrassing me while we wait for the band to go on.

6:30 pm - band goes on. Liam rocks.

6:55 pm - band and choir finish. stumble back out to car with all four kids.

7:15 pm - arrive home at the same time as the husband and the Taj. eat until too full to move. pass out happy.

What? No unconditional love?

2011-05-02T21:33:00.002-05:00

When I went to pick up His Dudeness at preschool today, both teachers came to the car to tell me a little story about something he said. The story goes a little somethin' like this:

At school today, Jackson's class was discussing mothers. The teachers asked them to go around the room and say something special that their mother does with them or for them. Some kids said that they go for bike rides and walks, that their moms take them on special dates or make them their favorite meals and snacks. It had the gloss of warm-fuzziness. Then, it came to be Jackson's turn.

Jackson: "My mom cweans my underweaw and takes me to Stharbucks."

You see, it, like, has two meanings.

2011-04-15T19:07:00.004-05:00

John comes in from work. The kids had small bowls of trail mix at their places at the table. John walks in, walks to the first bowl of trail mix. (I realize that this is starting to sound like Goldilocks, but bear with me.) He grabs a handful of the trail mix, lifts it to his mouth and pauses.

John: "Wait. Whose snack is this?"

random kid: "Jackson's."

John: "Hey! Jackson! Did you do anything to your nuts?"

Jackson pauses. He looks at John with a handful of trail mix and gets a funny look on his face, like he's not sure how to answer.

Jackson: "Ummmmm... da nuts I'm eating or da nuts I'm wearing?"

Touché

2011-03-15T17:05:00.004-05:00

Liam: "Jackson, your character is a black guy. Why is it a black guy?"

Kat: "What do you mean, Liam? He can have whatever character he wants!"

Liam: "Well, he is always trying to make his guy look like him. I'm just wondering why it's a black guy now."

Bella: "Liam! His guy doesn't have to look like him! Yours doesn't look like you. Your head isn't actually on fire." (Liam's "guy" is the comic book character Ghost Rider.)

Show some respect, dude.

2011-03-14T18:00:00.003-05:00

At the end of a long day of two kids home from school with a nasty case of snot, and me not quite feeling 100% either...

Kat: "Jackson, would *you* like some applesauce?"

Jackson: "Yeeeeeeeeah, bay-beeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Kat: "I'm sorry. Am I a girl you just picked up in a bar or am I your mother?"

Jackson: [in his high-pitched 'nice voice'] "Maaaaaaaaaaama, may I pweeeeeeeeease have some aaaaaaaaapwesauwce?"

Que?

2011-03-07T18:50:00.002-05:00

Bella: [dancing around mindlessly repeating ] "No hablo español. No hablo español. No hablo español. No hablo español."

Maddie: "Bella! Do you know what you're saying?"

Bella: "No. What?"

Maddie: "You're saying 'I don't speak Spanish' over and over again. In Spanish."

Bella: "Oh."

[big pause]

Jackson: "Mom? How do you say 'I just peed in my pants' in Spanish?"

Mi Scusi

2011-03-06T12:24:00.002-05:00

Calling people Mi Scusi is an ongoing family joke, especially since John's dad had a mustache for many years.

Jackson: "Mom, Wiam has a mustache."

Kat: "Yeah, Jackson, he is growing a bit of a mustache."

Jackson: "Wiam?"

Liam: "What, Jackson?"

Jackson: "Say, 'Jackson?'"

Liam: "Ummmmm, okay. Jackson?"

Jackson: "Yes, Mi Scusi?"

His own biggest fan.

2011-03-03T10:19:00.003-05:00

Jackson has developed a new speech pattern. It goes something like this.

Kat: "Hey, Jackson, I'm going to make some sausage for breakfast. How many sausages would you like?"

Jackson: "Ummmmmmmmm... I'd wike five. No, four. No, five. [pause] Heh. Heh, heh. Heh, heh, heh. I said 'I'd wike five.' Heh."

He laughs that snarky laugh and repeats himself multiple times a day. It's starting to get old.

Just let me survive until bedtime.

2011-03-01T17:56:00.003-05:00

After today, by all rights, I should be insane or medicated.

Exhibit A:
Things I had to explain during the getting-ready time this morning:

What "virgin" means.
What "screw you" means.
What "f@#% you" means.

Exhibit B:
Jackson was playing a game on PBS kids and kept choosing to play the game "Got Nuts?" over and over again while saying, "I'm going to play 'Got Nuts'! Ahahahahahaha! Got Nuts!"

Exhibit C:
While running errands with Jackson, "Hope It Gives You Hell" came on the radio.
Jackson: "Are dey saying 'haaaail', wike wen its haaaailing outside?"
Kat: "No."
Jackson: "Are dey saying 'help'?"
Kat: "No."
Jackson: "Den what are dey saying?!"
Kat: "Okay! FINE! It's inappropriate for you! I'll change it!"
Jackson: "Good. Can we wisten to "Dweam On wif NPH and Shuster?"

Exhibit D:
Maddie asks to search about Native Americans. She sits down to Google search (always a nerve-wracking experience to have kids wandering around on Google...
Maddie: "Mom, whatdoeshornomean?"
Kat: [long pause] "I'm sorry. What did you just say?"
Maddie: "Horno. Horno. Like an adobe clay horno?"

Exhibit E:
Got a call from the principal at Maddie and Bella's school to follow up on a concern I shared over email this morning. Best part of the whole conversation: "The other child admitted to saying 'screw you', but said that she had no idea what it meant. Bella said she didn't know either, so she asked Maddie."

Punchline:
Maddie: "Bella, screw you means the same as 'f-you'."
Bella: "What does 'f-you' mean?"
Maddie: "Ohhhhh, you're going to have to ask mom that one."

Notes from the trenches

2011-02-23T14:21:00.003-05:00

Jackson went upstairs to get dressed. He came back down wearing corduroy pants and a casual shirt.

Jackson: "Mama? Dis is my wast pair of pants. All dad's weft is short pants and a pair of pants dat are kinda fancy, you know, wike for a wedding?"

Liam was trying to call the house from school and couldn't get through. The secretary tried and that time, it rang and I answered. She told me who she was and handed the phone to Liam.

Liam: "Mom, just so you know, I did not do anything wrong and I am not in trouble."

The ride home from school with The Dude

2011-02-11T15:42:00.002-05:00

Kat: "Jackson, what did you have for snack today?"

Jackson: "A cupcake."

Kat: "Is that on our program?"

Jackson: "Yeah, I sink so. I picked banilla."

Kat: "Did you pick vanilla because you thought it was a better choice?"

Jackson: "Yeah! You know, chocowate? It's a wot more candy-ish."

Jackson: "I asked my fwend at school to smell my breaf today and do you know what she said? She said it smewwed wike a wock star."

Captivity is captivity

2011-02-10T10:59:00.001-05:00

Jackson was asking about our old house (the one in which he was born).

Jackson: "Mom, was dere a fan in my room at da old house?"

Kat: "Jackson, you didn't have your own room at the old house."

Jackson: "But I was born in dat house!"

Kat: "Yes, but there were only three bedrooms. One for me and daddy, one for Liam and one for Maddie and Bella."

Jackson: "Yeah, but I swept in your room. In my crate. You know, in the crate dat babies sweep in?"

Little Adults

2011-01-17T17:53:00.002-05:00

Maddie was at ballet and Liam was staying after school for pep band. We had a pile of apples that were going bad, so I decided to throw on some applesauce. Jackson and Bella really wanted to help. Jackson got to work right away peeling, but his technique nearly gave me a heart attack. I gave him a good knife instead and after the apple quarters were peeled, his job was to cut them into chunks and put them in the pan. He did an incredible job, keeping his other hand out of the way of the knife. It was the first time he had really used a sharp knife and I was impressed.

Bella hopped in and started peeling the apples with a peeler. She had a better technique, and she has cut up her own apples many times, so I felt comfortable. Jackson showed no worry about the sharp instruments, but Bella was worried, both for herself and for Jackson. Not surprisingly, she cut herself. As she started to bleed, Jackson perked up. "You cut yerself, Bewwa? You wan me to get my firs aid kit?" She nodded and he ran upstairs to get it. When he came down with it, Bella sat at the table and he came to her. As he rummaged through his first aid kit, he said, "Don' wowwy, Bewwa. Yull be fine."

Existential, man.

2010-12-17T09:16:00.001-05:00

Kat: "Aw, I burned the breakfast sausage. I'm turnin' into Grandma Hickey."

Maddie comes up and puts her hand consolingly on my shoulder. Maddie: "Don't worry, mom. We're all turning into somebody."

Jacksonisms

2010-12-13T22:23:00.004-05:00

Liam walks up to the fireplace and begins to toast his crotch. Liam: "Ahhhhh, I'm roasting my chestnuts."

Maddie walks up to the fire and begins to toast her front side. Jackson: "An' now Maddie is woasting her bweastnuts."

Kat: "Where are the kids?"
Jackson: "Dey're in da pwaywoom watching 'Agatar'. The kid wone, not de adult wone. Not the one with da bwue guys."

Jackson: [deep sigh as he lays in bed] "I wike being naked."

Pulp Fiction, anyone?

2009-12-17T18:59:00.002-05:00

You might say that the stress level at the house is a little higher than usual. We leave tomorrow afternoon for Ohio. We have to be packed for 9 days, 5 parties and Christmas, including gifts for exchanging in Ohio. When we return home, Santa will have already come.

The children seem to sense this and adjust their behavior accordingly. They adjust it to code red a#$hole. I have yelled more in the last two days than in the previous two months.

Kat (exasperated): "If I have to tell you guys to stop running and stop screaming one more time, my head will explode!"

Jackson walks into my office and sits down in my lap. He puts his hand on my face.

Jackson: "I don' wan' yer hed to esplode. Den my face will be aw messeee."

Kink in the hose

2009-12-12T15:25:00.001-05:00

Jackson has always been the kind of kid who stripped down naked to pee. He also mounted the toilet seat backward, like a horse. He would sit facing the toilet tank. Recently, he grew tired of taking off his shoes to pee, which I can totally understand. He noticed that John stood at the toilet to pee. He was fascinated by this and started saying "I 'tand up, wike Daddy. I 'tand up, mama!"

We had some discussions about the toilet seat rules: stand to pee - lift the seat. Sit to pee - leave the seat down. I thought that I had adequately addressed the standing to pee etiquette.

I was getting ready for a holiday party with my doula network. Jackson from the kitchen into the bathroom. A moment or two later, I hear...

Jackson: "Aw, man!"

I go into the bathroom and he is standing at the toilet. He looks up at me.

Jackson: [sigh] "I pee in my haiw, mom!"

I look down and sure enough, his bangs on the left side of his face are wet. I also notice that he didn't get himself completely out of his pants. Instead, his penis was pinched in the waistband of the pants, pointing straight up - kind of like when you pinch the end of a hose. I also noticed that the entire wall to his left was dripping wet. It took me a good three minutes to stop laughing and explain the scene to the rest of the family in the kitchen. Once we all laughed and Jackson realized I wasn't mad, he thought it was quite funny too.

Oh god. She doesn't even know what decade.

2009-12-09T18:53:00.000-05:00

Bella: "Mom? What year were you born? 19... 18... What?"

That's my girl.

2009-12-08T20:37:00.004-05:00

I've added a new service to my doula business. I have been learning to turn the placenta into a nutritional supplement. It is steamed, dehydrated, ground and then put into capsules. In the Chinese medicine tradition, taking the placenta capsules can help prevent postpartum depression and help support the milk supply.

I went last night to finish a placenta encapsulation with my most recent client. The kids were interested in what I was doing. Maddie was particularly interested in the details and if I had "eaten" the placenta after our babies were born. (Unfortunately, I didn't know about placenta encapsulation after having our kids.)

Tonight, we were driving a few girls to gymnastics. Maddie sat in the front and the three girls were chatting in the back. One of the girls was telling a story about a "friend" of hers whose "cousin" had a baby and decided the baby wasn't cute. So, she handed the baby to a visitor to hold and then she left and never came back. Now, of course, these are the kinds of stories kids tell and repeat, so I didn't say anything. Then they started talking about pregnancy and how they wished you could just get a baby, but they didn't want to have to be pregnant or "have" the baby. I said that both are fun. We chatted a little bit more. I said that the woman who left her baby sounds like she was depressed and that can happen sometimes after having a baby. Sometimes people need some help after having a baby.

Maddie: "She needed some of those placenta vitamins you make. And a doula."

Gross anatomy

2009-12-08T20:26:00.007-05:00

Jackson seems to have a little bit of a stomach bug. I thought initially he ate too much Indian food. I picked him up today and buckled him in the car.

Kat: "How's your belly feel?"

Jackson: "It feews yuckeee."

Kat: "Awwww. It does?"

Jackson: "Missaddie sez dat I hab dia... dia... a poop diary."

At school today, Jackson asked his teacher if she has heard of "Golddigger". (The kids absolutely love the version of Golddigger from the Glee soundtrack.) Addie hadn't heard of it. Her husband came in and he hadn't really heard of it either. They looked it up on iTunes and found it.

Addie (to her husband): "It's not by Kanye West, is it? It can't be by Kanye West."

Jackson: "NO! It's by Gwee! It's by Gwee!"

Addie scrolled down and saw the version of "Golddigger" by the Glee Cast. She was amazed. She said that she couldn't believe that she was being introduced to new music by a three year old. She downloaded it and played it for the kids. They begged for her to play it again while they decorated their Christmas cookies. The kids danced and bopped their heads. Jackson, at one point, put his hand behind his head and broke out the half-sprinkler move. That's my boy. Livin' the thug life.

Close. Really close.

2009-12-08T16:24:00.000-05:00

Bella (singing): "You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Connor and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen."

Nelson Mandela, eat your heart out.

2009-12-04T16:07:00.004-05:00

Bella: "You know how girls make groups of 'sassy threes'?"

Kat: "I'm not sure what you mean."

Bella: "You know, like, when they are just a group of three girls and they don't want to be friends with anyone else and they act really sassy?"

Kat: "Yeah. Sadly, grownups do that too."

Bella: "Well, these three girls were acting like they didn't want to be friends with me because all three of them were black and I'm not. So, I said, 'Guys, I thought we all decided a long time ago that black people and white people can all be friends!' I thought that was really rude."

Uh, TMI, Dude.

2009-11-06T12:21:00.001-05:00

While snuggling in bed this morning...

Kat: "Jackson, are you still my baby?"

Jackson: "Yep. [long pause] But I don' suck on boobs anymore."

A Good little Fella

2009-11-02T17:56:00.003-05:00

Bella stayed home sick today and we were running a few errands. Jackson and Bella were playing with a few figures in the back seat. I overhear something that doesn't sound quite right.

Jackson: [in a deep voice] "If you talk ta me, I kiwl you."

Kat: "Jackson!"

Jackson: [in a slightly higher, slightly softer voice] "If you talk ta me, I kiwl you."

I paused to hide my laughter. He noticed anyway.

Jackson: [in a much higher, much squeakier voice] "If you talk ta me, I kiiiiiiiiiiiiwl you."

Just figurin' out the rules, ma'am

2009-11-02T17:51:00.003-05:00

Jackson bit Bella. After I recovered from the ear-piercing scream, I put Jackson in his room, mostly for his own safety. After a minute or two, he came out.

Jackson: "I weady to say I sowwy, mom."

Kat: "Jackson, you have to stop hurting people. If you bite Bella again, I'm going to put you to bed for the night."

Jackson: "An' I not come out?"

Kat: "Not for the whole night. It is *not* okay to hurt people."

He thought for a minute and I was rather proud of myself for really getting through to him.

Jackson: "Whad if I kick 'er?"

The time-space continuum is a tricky thing.

2009-11-02T16:03:00.002-05:00

Thanks to the magic of Daylight Savings Time and parents that forgot to help her change the time on her alarm clock, Maddie came down at 5:30 am today. They usually get up at 6:30 for school.

Maddie: "It's 6:30! Why aren't you guys up?"

Kat: "No, it's 5:30. The time changed."

Maddie: "AGAIN?!?"

Gender wars

2009-10-29T16:40:00.004-05:00

Miss Addie, Jackson's teacher, reported that he is able to identify many colors. They did a color matching game and he knew all the colors except two. When she was introducing white and pink to him, he was resistant.

Jackson: "No. Doze are geerrl co-wers."

Pants? Jacket? No?

2009-10-22T17:39:00.004-05:00

Jackson wanted to go outside and play with 'the big boys'. He was wearing nothing but a short sleeved t-shirt. He went upstairs and came back with a sweater vest.

Kat: "What's that for?"

Jackson: "To weaw. 'Cause it's chiwwy out."

Get to the point, woman!

2009-10-13T08:01:00.004-05:00

Jackson: "When I gethome fwom skool, ken I wach "TootnPuddow?"

Kat: "Toot and Puddle? I don't know. We'll see."

Jackson: "Yeserno, mom."

Kat: "I can't say yes or no, Jackson. We'll have to see how it goes."

Jackson: "Yeeeeeeeeees.... erno, mama."

Kat: "Jackson, sometimes I can't answer yes or no. Sometimes, it's maybe. Or I don't know."

and another thing...

Jackson: "I wan a bear vitamin."

Kat: "You can't have a bear vitamin right now."

Jackson: "But I wan won."

Kat: "You don't take the bear vitamin unless you need it."

Jackson: "But I neeeeeeeeeeed it."

Kat: [growing frustrated] "The bear vitamin is fiber. It makes you poop."

Jackson pauses. He thinks for a minute.

Jackson: "Dats okay. I wike poopin."

Could stand to have a few more like this one.

2009-10-09T15:12:00.002-05:00

Maddie: "I just unpacked three boxes in my room. I put some toys that I don't want in the boxes. My room is completely clean and my bed is made. I'm going to go downstairs and sit on the couch and knit."

And we do?!?!

2009-10-09T14:52:00.003-05:00

John: "Why is there a dead bird in a plastic box in the driveway?"

Bella: "It flew into the neighbor's window, but their dad didn't want them keeping a dead bird."

It's a flying circus, all right.

2009-10-07T19:16:00.006-05:00

A few months ago, John decided that he had to introduce the kids to Monty Python. I disagreed, but he showed them some clips from The Holy Grail anyway. The kids thought that it was all hilarious. Liam especially loved it.

A few weeks ago, Jackson and I were driving in the car. He was talking to himself, and then began talking to me.

Jackson: "What is yersname?"

Kat: "What?"

Jackson: "What... is yersname?"

Kat: "Um... Kat Hickey?"

Jackson: "No. Say 'mama'."

Kat: "Okay. 'Mama.'"

Jackson: "What is yersqwest?"

I got it then.

So, I had him do it on video for you. Enjoy.

For those who've never seen the original:

Food deprivation

2009-10-07T11:25:00.002-05:00

The kids were discussing what other people ate for lunch at school. Bella mentioned a twinkie.

Maddie: "What's a twinkie?"

Liam: "You know, like in 'Wall-E', the only food left?"

Maddie: "Oh, yeah! Do people actually *eat* those?!"

Can the Dude read?!

2009-10-04T11:31:00.000-05:00

A few weeks ago, Jackson and I were packing up books. He was putting the books he wanted in his room in his box. Jackson turned to me and handed me a board book.

Jackson: "I don' wan dis one. Iz in Spanish."

I looked at it and... it was! I laughed and chalked it up to typical Jackson randomness.

Then, a today, my cell was ringing. He brought it to me and said: "Mom, yers fone wringing. Iz Gramma Dot."

I looked at the phone ID and it said "Dot Rapp". Well, I'll be damned.

GLEE!

2009-10-02T18:11:00.003-05:00

I've been watching a new show called 'Glee' on FOX. It's about a high school glee club/show choir. It's got some adult undertones and complex characters, so it's much more interesting than it sounds. It's so quirky and fun that I find myself being a little geeky-addicted to it. They do some really fun renditions of normal tunes. Although they can't watch the whole show, I've let the kids watch some of the tunes on hulu.

Yesterday, I let the kids watch the GLEE rendition of Kanye's 'Golddigger'. As soon as the song started, I asked Liam what song it sounded like. He said, 'Golddigger'. Duh. "No. What older song is this a remake of?" I said. He thought for a minute... sang along for a minute or two.

Liam: "I Got a Woman."

Kat [beaming with pride]: "by...?"

Liam [thinking aloud]: "Charles... Charles? Ray Charles!"

My work here is done.

What am I, sliced bread?

2009-10-02T07:18:00.003-05:00

Jackson: "Wait. I not go to skool today?"

Kat: "No, honey. You don't go to school today."

Jackson: "An da kids go to skool today?"

Kat: "Yes, the kids go to school today."

Jackson: "I sad. When I no go to skool, I sad."

It starts.

2009-10-01T08:30:00.004-05:00

Jackson has begun to have more of an opinion on the clothing he wears. All summer long, he wanted to wear his "Keens". They weren't technically a Keen shoe, but a similar shoe/sport sandal hybrid that he was able to put on and take off easily himself. If you asked him about his shoes, he'd reply, "No! Doze are my Keeeeeeens!" He would also tell unsuspecting strangers: "Deez are my keens. Gwama Dot bott dem for me."

My mom brought him a super-cute new jacket when she came up for Maddie's birthday. He *loves* it! It is all a chocolate brown color with soft sleeves and hood. I got down a different jacket for him to wear to school on Tuesday (because it matched his outfit) and he looked frustrated. "No, maaaaahm. I wanna wear de udder jacket. De one dat Gwamma Dot got me at Owd Naby."

Cute, but deadly.

2009-09-29T15:01:00.005-05:00

Jackson has discovered that he is cute. He knew before, but now it's on a whole new level. When we are out in public, he will put on a performance if he notices that people are watching him. Case in point: Jackson was hanging out at Miss Addie's because his mother was running a few minutes late to pick him up from preschool. (who... me?) She asked him if he'd like a banana and he said yes. One of the other kids needed something at that moment and she moved on and forgot about Jackson's banana. After a few minutes, Jackson noticed both that he didn't have his banana *and* that Miss Addie's husband was watching him.

Jackson: "Jus' get me my 'nana, woman!"

Feelin' a little meloncholy...

2009-09-29T10:30:00.002-05:00

I woke up this morning and discovered that a watermelon had exploded on the kitchen counter. The smell was absolutely putrid. I can't even express the horrid-ness of the odor. I was shocked to see the distance that the rotten pulp traveled. I would say that there was rotten watermelon innard within a 3-4 foot radius of the actual watermelon. It was just sitting there on the counter, looking innocent, with a 3-4 inch incision in it's rind.

The best part is that it imploded this morning while John was the only one awake and was in the kitchen surfing the interwebs and drinkin' his coffee. When I told him about it later, he was relieved because it had freaked him out completely when he heard something splash in the sink full of water and soaking dishes. "I thought it was something supernatural," he said. I wish I had videotaped him demonstrating how he tentatively picked up a wooden spoon and poked and prodded the murky dishwater in an attempt to discover the source of the splashing...

Of course.

2009-09-27T17:30:00.003-05:00

Bella and Liam had been gone for a few hours, so I sent Maddie to find them for dinner. Bella comes flying in reporting where she had been and why she was authorized to be there. Maddie comes in behind her.

Maddie: "It's easy to find Bella in the neighborhood. She left a trail of salami." [holds up three pieces of salami as evidence]

Jackson: "Mom, can you make my smoovie not so mustach-ey? It givin' me a smoovie mustache."

I could see where you would get that...

2009-09-24T16:13:00.003-05:00

Jackson's got a little cold and a big cough, so he stayed home from preschool today. One of our wonderful new neighbors came by this morning with a little note and a plate full of coffee cake. When Jackson was ready to eat, he came into the kitchen and was dismayed to discover that the kids had finished off the last box of Cinnamon Life (also known as "wife seeweeul"). He prepared to throw a fit and I asked if he'd like to try some coffee cake. He stopped crying and looked up, astonished. I told him the neighbor had made it for us.

Jackson: "She make cawfee cake for feel better my cough?"

Thug life...

2009-09-15T22:13:00.002-05:00

Jackson put John's baseball hat on and then turned it backwards.

Jackson: "Whathup, yos? Whathup, dogs? Whathup, thuckers?" (suckers)

That's how we roll...

2009-09-09T21:21:00.001-05:00

Jackson is standing in the kitchen looking at a box of wine glasses.

Jackson: "What you doing wif dose?"

Kat: "Packing them up to take them to the new house."

Jackson: "You dwink wine wif dem wif your fwends?"

Busted.

She was saying something about how I don't pay attention. I don't know, I wasn't listening.

2009-08-27T22:20:00.002-05:00

Kat: "Good morning, Jackson! Time for school!"

Jackson [sleepily]: "Hooray!"

[long pause]

Jackson: "Wait, what you sayd?"

Kat: "Time for school."

Jackson: "Yipee! I wuv school!"

A brief glimpse

2009-08-24T20:16:00.005-05:00

In looking for something in my sent items folder, I discovered that I send one-line emails rather frequently. Much of the time, they are to John, but I have a few select friends that are the beneficiaries of my quick wit/short attention span.

Here's a sample and perhaps a small glimpse into my brain. What might be even funnier is for John (and Jordan and Koren and...) to do a separate post of some his one liner emails and we make a game of it trying to match the question to the response...

I'm not sure if you are checking email at all, but I wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts, friend. I'll be sending you Reiki tonight. Love you.

Um. Where the hell did I put my hotel vouchers?

Chipotle!?! I'm so jealous. I desperately want 'Pot or Taj today. MAJOR craving.

Liam plugged up the main toilet. Please teach him to plunge it when you get home.

I can't take the antici...

Will you email me some of your notes before make this phone call? I feel like if I call right now, I'll get all flustered and screw it up.

1. Babysitter confirmed.
2. Moved your Hickey vs. Wild videos to the red external hard drive under Movies. Damn laptop couldn't do sh%t with a full hard drive.

Found the ipod to TV cord. It's only the beginning. Manifest me finding the camera.

...pation.

Will you be home for the summer? I have a former client looking for a nanny.

Agent called at 10:30 am. He left me a pretty normal message. Doesn't sound desperate enough to satisfy me. Yet.

That sucks. Sorry you lost everything. I have a crapload of contact info so let me know if you need any emails or anything.

No news here. Kids gone to Ohio. Headed up to school to do the formal registration stuff, then oil change for the van and a little shopping for my trip. Status update on your end?

I sent you everything in one email, but it was big. (that's what she said) Let me know whether you get it or not! Thanks.

My NCAA bracket is in. I used my pendulum to pick the champion. Seriously.

Found the check you left me under the mat at the front door. You wrote it five months ago. After I found it, I put it somewhere safe. Still looking.

It appears the missing is mutual. Jackson just came in the room saying, "I wan go Gramma house. I wan go Gramma house."

Any interest in checking this out on Sunday? Live music, family friendly, out doors, beer garden. Did I have you at hello?

Hey - sorry to hear about your grandma. I'm hoping her transition brings some peace to your whole family. Is there any time that's better or worse for me to come by today to get my crap?

Thanks for the offer. I would love to, but I have these damn kids.

Sorry - I manifested perfection and sent Reiki. I hadn't even considered the possibility that it could have been otherwise...

Very deep breaths. Pace yourself. You're just opening windows so the universe can send money flying in...

Oh.my.god. That is glorious, gorgeous and otherwise amazing!!! You are so talented.

No problem! Just getting ready to get The Dude a nap.

Hey- on your way home, would you stop and get beer, coffee and "C" batteries? The damn crackling on the wireless speakers is driving me to distraction.

Señor Diablo-

Es aceptable el pizza para la cena hoy?
[Is pizza acceptable for dinner today?]

La Diosa

John had his car detailed and they found the check you wrote me under the seat. I don't even really remember losing it. Perhaps that means my mind is also under the seat in his car, because it's been lost far longer.

Well, I attended a birth on Saturday and a birth on Sunday, so the weekend ended up being pretty full! How's tomorrow?

Damn. That escalated quickly.

Love it. Make it so, #1.

No problem. They are sword fighting right now, complete with sound effects and falling to the ground dead. :)

Nice. Damn. Money is growing on trees around here. Keep it up, baby!

Call me on lunch. Liam spilled an entire glass of cranberry juice on the white carpet in his bedroom. I'm sorry. I killed him.

Rhinestone Cowboy

2009-08-23T19:59:00.001-05:00

My good friend Jordan recently had a baby, then went on to have gallbladder surgery a few weeks later. I called her house on Friday to offer my help and agreed to help today with her four year old son. Her husband said he'd talk to Jordan and let me know whether I would have him over at our house or go to their place and help out. I mentioned to John over the weekend that I might be at Jordan's house on Monday and also asked Jackson if he'd like to have a playdate with Jordan's son. He was thrilled.

Tonight, Jordan's husband called and told me that Jordan would love to have the quiet and could we have the playdate at our house. Later on, John and I were getting ready for bed.

Kat: "I'm not going to Jordan's tomorrow, Owen is coming here."

John: "Did you say Owen?"

Kat: "Yes, Owen."

John: "O-wen?"

Kat: "Yes, Owen. What is your deal?"

John: "That's Jordan's son?"

Kat: "Yeah. Jackson calls him 'Cowboy Owen'."

John: "Oh my gosh. I was talking to Jackson yesterday and he was telling me about hanging out with 'Cowboy Owen'. I kept saying, 'Jackson, what are you saying?' and he would say 'Cow-boy Ow-wen, dad! Cow-boy Ow-wen!' And John would ask, 'Are you saying, Cow-boy Ow-wen?' Jackson would reply, 'Yeah, dad. Cow-boy Ow-wen!' I was wondering what in the world you do here when I'm not home."

Doula video

2009-08-21T15:21:00.002-05:00

Thanks to a lovely client, friend and fellow doula, our local doula network has a few opportunities to educate the community and student nurses about doulas. We are working on a brief video to show what it is that doulas do. Here's the original video I created for a community education seminar in February. Any feedback or input for improving is welcome...

Your witness, counselor.

2009-08-03T22:37:00.001-05:00

Overheard at breakfast:

"Well, I have a witness."

"Wellllllll, your witness is three!"

Dasia 319 - short film

2009-08-03T13:55:00.002-05:00

The kids and I did a short film on Saturday. It was part of a 48 hour short film contest, they drew an idea and had to write the script, shoot and edit it in 48 hours. Look for our cameos!

Taking advantage of his cuteness

2009-07-10T18:48:00.002-05:00

The kids have a horrible cough, so I had a bottle of homeopathic cough syrup on the night stand. I went to get everything set up for tonight and discovered that the bottle that should be half-full was completely empty on the floor. I yelled. (it's expensive)

Kat: "Jackson, who drank all this cough syrup?"
Jackson: "Oh, Mee-yum did it."
Kat: "Liam! Leeeee-um!"

Liam: "I didn't drink that, mom."
Kat: "Jackson, who did you say drank the cough syrup?"
Jackson, looking hesitantly at Liam: "Mee-um did." Jackson smiles, realizing that he's busted.
He thinks for a moment. "Mom, I did it. It was a 'stake."

Kat: "A mistake?"
Jackson: "Yeah. I wea-wee sow-wee Mom. It was a 'stake."

Hypochondriasis.

2009-07-10T09:26:00.000-05:00

Bella: "I don't feel well since Maddie's been gone. I have a runny nose. Do I ever have a runny nose when Maddie's here? NO!"

Jackson gasps. Jackson: "I have a wunny nose too!"

Happy Father's Day!

2009-06-22T07:22:00.004-05:00

Maddie has been saying for days that she wanted to interview the kids about John and make a video for Father's Day. I helped a little, editing out Liam's constant interruptions during Bella's interview and adding a few titles. But, truly, the vision and the finished product were all hers.

Homeland Security

2009-06-21T21:44:00.003-05:00

I had a few moments alone to do some shopping, so I took the opportunity to buy John's Father's Day gift alone and early. I was really proud of myself for not waiting until the actual day of the event to buy a gift. I brought everything out on to the ottoman and had the kids help wrap everything and make cards. I never even thought to tell Jackson that the gift was a secret. I had to run out to a meeting and left the kids with a babysitter. When John got home, Jackson greeted him at the door.

Jackson: "Dad! We got you a pwesent!"

John: "Thanks!"

Jackson: "It's a cawfee-makrrrr!"

Kids [in chorus]: "Jackson, NOOOOOOOO!"

The kids broke the news to me the next morning. When we finally opened presents on Father's Day, I brought out the gifts and John made the most of it.

John: "Wow! I wonder what this gift is?"

Jackson: "Dad, It's a cawfee-makrrrr! I towd you, it's a cawfee-makrrrr!"

Sharing

2009-05-07T14:40:00.004-05:00

Jackson's developing a funny little personality. For a long time, he was just charming. If he didn't agree with something I said, we could discuss it civilly. Then, we went on the cruise and he lost his mind. After a week or so of reigning him back in, I'm really pleased that it was only temporary insanity. Even still, he is headed into the "threes" and he is just a little spicier than he used to be.

Yesterday, I stopped and got him a snack when we were running errands.

Kat: "Jackson, can I have one of your crackers?"
Jackson, without hesitation: "Nope."
Kat: "May I please have one of your crackers?"
Jackson: "No sanks."
Kat: "Why not?"
Jackson, pointing to the wrapper: "Wite dere. It sez 'not for mama'."

Jackson strikes again!

2009-04-03T15:30:00.000-05:00

Jackson has been very quotable this vacation. Here are two little tidbits:

I called the kids - we were going to go to bounce on the "EuroBungee" - a huge thing at one of the local outdoor malls where you get harnessed in and you can bounce about 20 feet in the air. Really cool.

Liam: "I don't want to go golfing."
Bella: "We're not. We're going bungee jumping."
Maddie: "No. EURO Bungee."
Jackson: "NO. YOU'RE-A- Bungee."

A big part of the mystique of coming down to my dad's place is the legendary muffins served on the golf course. Liam and Maddie went to hit a bucket of balls while I had Bella and Jackson at the pool. My dad returned with a muffin for Jackson, sat him down at the table at the pool and proceeded to break it in half for him. Jackson no likey. Anytime something he's eating breaks in half, he bursts into tears and cries for about 10 minutes, ususally. Unless he's tired, and then it's 20. I usually just walk away from him, but my dad isn't used to it, plus we were in public, so we couldn't just let him cry. It took him about 30 minutes and a ride in the golf cart to get over it.

So, last night we were driving back from the beach and he was eating a breakfast bar and... it broke. We all braced ourselves for the tears that would come. And they came. I gave him some suggestions:
Kat: "Can you put it back together?"
Jackson: "Noooooooo...."
Kat: "Should we throw it out the window?"
Jackson looks out the window and sees people walking by. He laughs. "I fwow it out da window an hit dat guy! Ahahahahaha! Ahahahaha! I fwow it out da window!"

He laughs for a little while and then says. "Gwapa. I 'powogize. I 'powogize."

Famous! or is it Infamous...?

2009-03-05T06:53:00.004-05:00

I got a casting call notice a few weeks ago that a local film production company was looking for an 8-10 year old girl and a 4-6 year old boy for a regional commercial. I sent Maddie's picture and they called, wanting to screen test her. When I got there (with all four kids, of course), they ended up screen testing Jackson with Maddie to see how she would interact on camera. I got an email the next day saying that Maddie and Jackson (!) were front-runners for being cast in the commercial. I got a call the next day that they were cast and that we would film on Monday!

We filmed on the next Monday - it took about 8 hours and the kids did great. Jackson got tired toward the end, but was very responsive and followed instructions well the whole time. Maddie really acted - making subtle changes to her acting and reactions. The director commented on how well she took direction, especially for her age. There were times when Jackson had the entire crew laughing. After the first few hours, he had decided that he had directing down. He started directing himself. The director would say, "and... action!" Then, Jackson would say "and... cut!" The crew would just laugh. At another point, the director was cuing Maddie to walk up to the table and stand behind the mom - the scene you see at the end of the commercial. The director called action, then said, "and... Maddie" and Maddie walked up and stood behind the mom. Then, Jackson waited a moment, stood up and said, "and... Jackson!" and walked up next to Maddie. That final scene wasn't supposed to have Jackson in it, but as you see, he knew he had a little something to bring to the scene! So, with no further adieu...

Transferred from Facebook...

2009-01-26T22:42:00.000-05:00

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.

1. I have way too many interests. This results in me having no idea what to do first for most of my life.

2. I think I may win some kind of award for most diverse resume. I have held the following positions: Montessori teacher’s assistant, lifeguard, professional singer/daner/actress, retail clothing store clerk (some of you may be able to guess what store), dance instructor, summer camp counselor, transcriptionist, medical secretary, event vocalist, Reiki practitioner, birth assistant, health food store sales associate, standardized patient for medical school, and birth doula.

3. In the time between getting my driver’s license at 16 and turning 18, I was pulled over and let off with a warning 7 times. I spoke very respectfully and I think the officers felt sorry for me.

4. I was a horrible student. I rarely studied and almost never completed any assignments. I have no idea how I graduated high school and completed almost three years of college. Probably the same way I got out of #3.

5. I think I got pregnant with Liam to escape the fact that I didn’t know what I wanted to do in college and I wanted a way out. And then I got pregnant six months later with Maddie, which was the nail in the coffin for my college career.

6. I love attending births. There is something incredibly magical about being present at the birth of a new soul. Being with a woman in labor, supporting her, tapping into her energy field is like meditation for me. When I am most in tune with a laboring mom, I am most myself.

7. I want to take my career to another level. I love working with expectant couples and attending births, but I am sad when the birth is over. It feels like families still continue to need support and information, especially if they are making non-mainstream choices. I would love to be a nurse practitioner also and be able to care for families. Or, a CNM and run a birth center. Or a doctor, so I could effect change on a larger scale. But, alas, #3.

8. I have a bizarre obsession with being liked. If someone doesn’t like me, I theorize that it is because they do not know or understand me, so I go to great lengths to explain myself or have someone else defend me. I’m hoping I grow out of it.

9. My husband and I met in West Side Story. He played Bernardo and I played Maria – we were brother and sister in the show. We really didn’t care for each other much at first.

10. I got pregnant with Liam when John and I had been dating for a year. John was 19 and I was 20. My mom and dad’s support at the time saved me. I have such incredible sympathy and compassion for women who find themselves in an unplanned pregnancy and do not have the unconditional love and financial support that I had. Without my parents’ support, I don’t think Liam would be here, in this life with me as my son. I don’t know what I would have chosen, but I know I would have regretted anything other than the choice that I did make.

11. Having Liam when I did totally changed the course of my life. John and I might not have ended up together and that would have been criminal. I was floundering, with no idea what I wanted to do and having Liam gave me purpose. Becoming a mother was the first step down this path that I was destined to take.

12. Giving birth to Maddie at home before the midwife arrived changed me. In that birth, I found my power. After that, I knew I was unstoppable.

13. I think my children are extraordinary. I admire their sense of humor and willingness to be open to the world. I hope that they realize how much I respect them and give them space to be individuals. I hope that when they look back on their childhood, they remember the love and the fun.

14. I was once kinda almost fluent in Spanish. I love speaking it. I loved being in Spain and in Mexico and I can’t wait to go back. It is really important to me that the kids learn to speak Spanish too.

15. I enjoy researching and knowing the answers to questions. I pride myself in my ability to find answers online really quickly.

16. I really miss music and dance in my life. When I spend time rehearsing to sing for a wedding or find myself dancing with the kids, it’s like the first day of spring when you can finally open the windows and play the music loud. And then I wonder why it’s been so long since the last time I felt that alive.

17. I am so happy that I finally have a group of really great girlfriends. Some are local and some are all over the country. Having girlfriends and a community of people makes me feel safe and understood.

18. I am fascinated by local food. I love knowing the people who raise and care for the food I feed my family. I get great joy out of exchanging money for quality food, knowing that my money goes to the local producer.

19. I am enthralled by energy healing. I have taken my Reiki I and II trainings and I am constantly learning more about energy work. I think what I really want is to be the neighborhood shaman that you come to when you’re pregnant, sick, or struggling. I think that the words that a health care provider uses are just as powerful, if not more powerful than the medicine. I choose my words with my clients carefully.

20. My husband amazes me. We have taken such a long, difficult road to get here. When I married him, I had no idea the man he would become. And I am really glad I took the leap of faith.

21. I love photography, music, theater, dance, crafting, decorating, but I can’t draw worth a crap.

22. I really enjoy writing. I find it much easier to express myself through writing. I loved writing on my blog and need to carve out more time to write on it again.

23. I also love talking. Many times when we go to an event for the whole family, John wants to drive separate so that he doesn’t have to wait for me to finish chatting with everyone.

24. I spend a crazy amount of time managing media in my life. Between the pictures, the music and movies, I’ve got 360 gigs of information that I really should spend some time organizing but I have no idea where to start.

25. I want to change the world. I want to leave a legacy of happy, healthy babies and their families whose lives are intangibly better because of my support and love.

We are in such trouble...

2008-10-04T19:27:00.003-05:00

We were at the soccer game today. Liam and Maddie are on the same team. After many seasons of them playing on separate teams with hours in between their games, we are so thrilled to be able to watch them in the game together. Today, I was almost in tears. Maddie was playing defense and Liam was playing offense. Maddie kicked the ball away from the other team headed toward the goal and passed it up to Liam who took it and dribbled up the sideline. Not only were they on the field together, they were actually working together! It was my best day!

They both sat out the second quarter and John headed to the "snack shack" for some hot chocolate. He got back with two hot chocolates. Bella, Jackson and I all looked at each other. So, I asked Bella to walk back over to the shack for an extra cup and lid. She obliged and came skipping back.

Bella: "Mom, they were so nice there! They gave me the cup AND the lid and they didn't even make me pay them money. I think it might be because I'm so adorable and I can pretty much get whatever I want."

How do you argue with that?

We're screwed.

This little light of mine...

2008-08-05T20:46:00.002-05:00

Maddie had a lovely teacher last year. It seemed like the teacher really "got" her and it made me feel good. In all my decisions about moving Maddie to a different school, it was never about the teacher, but more about the academic curriculum and pressure put on the teachers and student by the administration.

Maddie loved her teacher. She hand-picked a bouquet for the last day of school and spent weeks making a picture video for the teacher using pictures we had taken throughout the year. We received a thank you note from her teacher today. I had to read it to Maddie because the teacher has a very artsy style of writing and she was having trouble reading it. I could barely get through it without crying!

Dear Maddie and family,

Hello, everyone! I hope this card finds you guys in the best of health. Maddie, you've grown so much, I will miss you and all the terrific things you stood up for. When I think of you, I will think about the song, "This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine."

Maddie, never lose your insightful ways, continue to focus on "how you can" vs. "why you can't."

I love everything about you, you're wonderfully made.

Love,

Mrs B.

P.S. I almost forgot to say thank you for my flowers, class movie and your precious friendship!

Snippets...

2008-08-03T20:29:00.003-05:00

While teaching the kids to play poker tonight, we were reminded how unintentionally funny Bella really is.

John deals the cards for 5 card draw. He deals the fourth card, Bella picks it up and adds it to her hand.

Bella: "I got a match!"

And later, after a tough hand of betting, Bella loses a big pot to Liam.

Bella: "I just felt a little bit of throw-up in my mouth."

You know you wish you were married to me...

2008-08-01T19:53:00.003-05:00

I usually try to keep this blog rather kid-focused. Let's face it. Very few of you want to hear about my birth clients or doula conferences or whatever. But, I do want this blog to represent a little of who I am (other than the sarcastic tone) for the sake of my children. Because, well, this is their baby book/scrapbook/you're lucky I took a break to write any of this nonsense down.

So, here's the thing. I've determined that men/boys really don't like nagging. Not only do they not like nagging, but it actually does not work. So, I've taken to other methods of getting the message across. For example, John often stays in the living room watching TV after I am ready to go to bed. So, I tell him I'm ready for bed, invite him to join me and go to bed. Then, in the morning, he blames me for leaving him on the couch. So, I sent this email to my husband this morning.

Dear John,

I am wondering if I have done something to upset or offend you. It seems like whenever we are together, you enjoy yourself. I do my best to provide a satisfying experience for you. I'm just wondering why it is that you haven't come by much lately. Let me know if there is something I can do to regain your business.

Fondly,
your bed

It went over well. He didn't even respond because he said he didn't have anything equally clever to send back. That went so well that just a few hours later, another inanimate household object had something to say.

Dear John,

If you want your wife and I BOTH to survive a lightning storm, you may not want to wrap the cord around me so damn many times.

Much love,
your new umbrella

The Secret Identities of Superheroes...

2008-07-27T09:46:00.002-05:00

Once upon a time, John and I were young single kids. We dated, we partied, we ran around without a care in the world. Then, unexpectedly, we found ourselves knee-deep in cloth diapers and organic baby food. Even though you get nine months, I still think that transition can feel a little abrupt. So, then we spend our days (and most nights) as superheroes. We perform superhuman feats such as nursing two babies at the same time, carrying one baby in the carseat and another on the hip, working 50-60 hour weeks and then coming home to rock babies to sleep. If that isn't the definition of superhero, I don't know what is. And when they look up at you, oh, then. You see it in their eyes. You are a superhero.

All along, though, that original identity is still lurking. You might even call it a secret identity, because in the granola-crunchy community, getting a babysitter and singing karaoke until 2 am on a Saturday might not be looked upon kindly. For some reason, complete self-sacrifice seems to come with the package of attachment parenting, breastfeeding and organic living. We always worked hard to resist that sacrifice of everything else in our lives for the kids.. We always insisted (partly due to some great influences in our lives) that our marriage came first. So, we maintained our secret identities. On a Saturday night, we could still be the couple you could confuse for newlyweds, the way we drank, danced and gazed at each other from across the bar. Yet still, we spend long afternoons walking in the woods with the kids and plan transformative homebirths for our children.

Like any superheroes, there comes a time when worlds collide. I've had glimpses of it, when we're out and someone is showing pictures of their several month old baby and we casually mention that we have a few little whipper-snappers ourselves. Or someone we know asks about the kids. I always feel a little awkward, though, when people do this. Then it becomes this big scene: "You have a baby?" "Oh my god! You have 4?" "How old are you? You can't be much older than me!" On Saturday, though, they really collided.

We went to a birthday party for a friend downtown. The street outside the bar had been blocked off and the city had sand volleyball, a reggae band, and a slew of island drinks and food. It was pretty cool - we just joined as everything was wrapping up. John and I were in the beer line and we started chatting with a guy in line. He and John recognized each other as having met at a party a few years ago. He introduced us to a friend of his and she immediately stopped and stared at me. "Are you Maddie Hickey's mom?" John and I looked at each other, completely stunned. Looking back, I realize that this question might not have hit so hard earlier in the night, but after my ?th cocktail, that question completely blew my mind.

As it turns out, the girl was a camp counselor at the fine arts camp Maddie had been attending all week. She said that the counselors had a get-together after the last day of camp and spent much of the time discussing how Maddie was an incredible human being. This really warms my heart because Maddie often struggles with her place in this world. Her heart is really big and I think it takes a certain level of maturity to appreciate it and not think she is putting on airs.

So, although my head nearly exploded when she asked me about Maddie, I felt really happy driving home, knowing that people do and will appreciate her for the incredible person that she is, she just needs to hang out with college kids. Wait, did I say that made me feel better?

I'm sorry, what?

2008-07-09T20:54:00.003-05:00

Recent communication errors here at the Hickey household:

Bella (on the eve before her birthday): "Mom, I'm tired, I'm cranky, my mosquito bites itch and my feet are all dirty."

Kat: "Bella, even though you're tired, cranky, itchy and dirty, I still love you like crazy."

Bella snuggles in closer, pauses and thinks for a minute. "Who's Gracie?"

We're watching some ridiculous nature show that John is obsessed with watching. They do different episodes about different creatures - this one was about snakes, more specifically a search for a huge anaconda. John and Liam are enthralled. Jackson periodically narrates the show. A horse shows up on the screen. "Horsie!" The man gets on the horse. "Horsie! Ride horsie!" The man dismounts the horse. "Oh. All done."

John: "This show is awesome. This is why I want to be a cryptobiologist."

Maddie: "A creepy bi-what-o-gist?"

Ticket to Ride, Part Two

2008-06-27T16:06:00.005-05:00

Okay. Part two. Our original court date was two weeks ago, but I wanted to go into Ohio to celebrate my sister-in-law's birthday with her, so I called and got a continuance for two weeks. That put the court date at Wednesday, June 25.

Once I discovered that this ticket required a court appearance, I informed Bella that she would be accompanying me. I didn't lay it on too thick, I figured she'd be nervous enough. I had no idea just how nervous she would be.

The morning of, Bella was on a video chat with my mom.

Bella: "Sorry, Grandma, I have to go. My mom and I are going to pick out a cute outfit so they don't send me to jail."

I really had no idea that Bella thought that this violation could lead to jail time. And, my mom only passed on the above quote AFTER we returned from the courthouse.

We did take what we know about costuming and apply it to our choice of clothing. Bella wore a white linen dress with a ruffled collar and little lavender accents. She wore matching white sandals. I wore a white top, a black pencil skirt and black kitten heels. Doesn't white just scream innocence?

It took quite some time to figure out where to go and what to do at the courthouse. After walking back and forth from both courtrooms, checking the lists and writing my name on a little slip of paper, we finally settled into the seats in the courtroom. We sat. And sat. And sat. We watched prisoners in jumpsuits shuffle out, shackled to each other. We watched them stand, one by one, entering their plea, putting their heads down. Then we watched them shuffle back, dejected. It was incredibly demoralizing.

Bella went through quite a series of emotions. When we first sat down, she said, "I'm nervous." I said, "Me, too. I'm glad you're here with me." She smiled at that, proud that she could make a difference. Later, she got squirmy and bored. She drew in my notepad for a while. We started whispering back and forth. Eventually, the bailiff came over and told us to be quiet. Bella looked shocked. She put her head down, claiming to be tired, and tried to fall asleep. We had been there just over an hour.

Somewhere in this time, I saw a friend of ours who is an attorney. We had carpooled together the previous year. She saw us after a little bit, looked shocked and came over to ask what we were doing there. We gave her the Reader's Digest version. She said she'd be right back and went up to look at the stack of files by the judge. She came back over and said we were still way down at the bottom of the pile. She would see what she could do.

After the next "defendant" was done, they called us up. I stood at the podium and instructed Bella to stand next to me, far enough away from the podium for the judge to take in the gratuitous cuteness of Bella. Our attorney friend whispered to the judge for 30 seconds, which felt like 30 minutes as we stood up there in silence. Finally, our friend said, "Just look at Bella. Isn't she the cutest?"

The judge turned to us.

Judge: "Are you Kathleen Hickey."
Kat: "Yes, sir. I am."
Judge: "And, besides your attorney, who do you have with you today?"
Kat: "This is Isabella."
Judge: "Are you Isabella?"
Bella nods.
Judge: "Is this your mother?"
Bella: "Yes."
Judge: "Your attorney says that you made a mistake and you're sorry. If you can promise me that this will never happen again, I can dismiss all charges and let you go home."
Bella smiles and nods gleefully.

Stunned, I turn around to leave and our attorney friend walks us out. She had told the judge the situation. She added that "Kat is one of the best moms I know." She asked him to take the opportunity to lay it on a little thick for Bella so that she would take more responsibility for her car seat and buckle. He did, all right.

So, we went home with vows to do better next time, at least $200 that we thought we'd have to give to the government and gratitude for the generosity and kindness of good friends. All in all, best case scenario for a trip to the County Courthouse.

Ticket to Ride? Part One.

2008-06-25T17:36:00.005-05:00

We got pulled over. For having such a lead foot, I really haven't gotten pulled over in a long time. I think I got pulled over about 7 times in the year-and-a-half between getting my license and turning 18. No tickets, though. I said "yes, sir" quite a bit and tried to seem very innocent and remorseful. At some point, that just stopped working. Maybe it was the minivan instead of the cute little sedan. Maybe it was the kids in the car - the whole - endangering innocent lives thing. Or maybe I've just lost my mojo.

Back to the point. It was Liam's birthday, May 19. Grandpa Ken took Liam golfing after school and I picked the girls up at the bus stop and drove straight to the chiropractor appointment. Bus comes between 3:58 and 4:04. Appointment is at 4:15 because the chiropractor refuses to give me a 4:30, which would actually be realistic. And he's cranky when we're late. And it takes about 18 minutes to get from bus stop to chiropractor's office with ideal traffic. So. Impossible to be on time, right? If obeying the laws of physics, gravity and Indiana? So, we defied the only one of the three we could.

We got pulled over when we were about 5 minutes away. The nice police officer informed me that he pulled me over because: (multiple choice)
A) I was speeding.
B) My plates/registration were expired.
C) I had a child in the back who appeared not to be in a seat belt.
D) All of the above.

If you guessed D, you are a sadist. And also correct.

I was speeding. True. It was May 19. Apparently, my plates expired on May 15. I had the plate in the garage and I was waiting for John to put it on. The registration said that the new one expires on May 28, 2009, so I assumed that the current ones were the same. No, the nice officer informed me. In 2008, they expire on the 15 of the month and in 2009, they will expire on the 28th. Fantastic.

And so we come to C. Buckling up in the car has never really been a priority for Bella. She usually took care of any other little thing in the car (putting on her shoes, brushing her hair, talking/fighting with siblings) before buckling up. We have tried: "Your job is to put on your buckle first, as soon as you get in the car." We have tried: "Don't do anything else until you are buckled in." We've tried yelling, screaming, pulling over and waiting until she does what we ask. She growls at us. It's less than fun.

Back to May 19: We're halfway to the chiropractor. I look back and Bella is sitting in the middle seat, lap belt only (no shoulder belt) and not in her booster seat (required in Indiana until 8 years or 80 pounds). I got angry and told her she had to be in the booster and not in the middle. She unbuckles to move into the booster seat sitting right next to her. According to the police man and Bella's combined accounts, Bella decided to "bounce around" and say hi to Jackson in the seat in front of her before settling into her seat belt. This seems to be the time when the police man "allegedly" clocked me driving just a skosh over the speed limit. With expired plates.

You'd think that would be bad enough. That calling to tell the chiropractor that we were waiting on the side of the road to get a ticket and wouldn't be able to make it would be embarrassing enough. Nope. It appears that since one of the charges was a child restraint violation, that I had to go to court for it. Awesome. Who's coming with me? You got it. Bella.

!Feliz Dia de Padres!

2008-06-15T14:17:00.005-05:00

And a Happy Father's Day to all you dads out there. As I said to John this morning, nice job spreading your seed! [wink] Hope you have a wonderful day full of the smell of animal flesh searing on the grill, the crisp flavor of an ice cold beer and the warmth and love of your family.

Ah, those olden days before DVDs and electricity...

2008-06-15T14:12:00.005-05:00

Maddie and I were chillin' the week before last. Mamaw Dot took Liam and Bella back to Ohio, so during the day I just had Maddie and Jackson. Maddie and I were watching a movie - Cinderella 3. No, seriously. It was so bad, it didn't even go straight to DVD, it went straight to Disney Channel.

Anywho, there was a scene where Cinderella was out in a meadow, singing.

Maddie: "This part reminds me of that one movie we watched with Grandma Dot."

Kat: "The Sound of Music?"

Maddie: "Yeah! That's the one! Back in the olden days, they really liked that movie. I think it's kind of boring."

This from the child who sat attentively through "March of the Penguins" in the theater and after it was over and we were walking out said, "Um, that was just a movie about penguins."

Who was that masked man?

2008-06-14T10:40:00.006-05:00

I retract my comment that the current soccer league is perfect. After the drama of Liam's soccer coach no-showing last week and Grandma Dot having to step in, this week proved to be interesting in a different way. It was the Liam show.

Liam basically took the ball to the net every single time his shoe touched it in the first quarter. He scored at least two goals and some of the kids seemed to give up at trying to stop him. In the second quarter, the coach tried to change it up a little by putting him on defense. That worked really well in some ways. None of the other team's players got anywhere NEAR the goal. Liam would go after the ball and boot it to the other side of the field. This would have been really great if any of his players were on that half of the field, but all the offensive players from his team were huddled around where the ball just was.

The coach took him out for a while, but then greedily put him back in because the game was kind of boring without him in. So, he scored a few more times. At one point, a player from the other team was dribbling the ball near midfield on the side of the field John and I were on. Liam runs up to the kid, says "thank you," steals the ball away and scores. John and I look at each other. "That was borderline," I said.

I have no pictures from this game because I put the camera away. I just didn't want to be that mom who is shooting pictures of her kids whooping your kids' butt.

The hatred of grownups...

2008-06-13T14:22:00.002-05:00

We have an atypical policy on cursing in our house. When I discovered that I have a bit of an impulsive potty mouth, I re-evaluated calling profanity "bad words." If the words are bad and I use them, that would make me "bad," right? So, I took to calling them "grownup words." This way, I can use them and you can't. Someday they may be smart enough to see through this logic, but for now, it works. If one of the children gets caught using a grownup word, the consequence is scrubbing the toilets, several loads of laundry, paying bills online or one of the other numerous joys of being an adult. After a few warnings, the kids using profanity really hasn't been a problem.

We also don't allow them to call people names like stupid, fat and other things we feel are disrespectful. We also don't allow them to say "hate". Hate, even in small doses, breeds hate on a national and world level. Words reflect consciousness and we don't want our family, even in adulthood, to use unkind words.

Grandpa Ken relayed a story about a time he was in the car with just Bella a few months ago. They were driving along and Bella was telling him about something that frustrated her. (which could be anything because we are all so much less enlightened than her...)

Grandpa Ken: "Oh, Bella. I hate it when that happens." He caught himself and said, "Oops. Sorry, Bella. I'm not supposed to say 'hate'."

Bella: "Don't worry, Grandpa. You can say it, it's okay. Just kids can't say 'hate.'"

Dork sidebar

2008-06-03T08:09:00.003-05:00

In case you notice that my pictures are a little crisper, or that maybe my photo composition is better (?), I just wanted to recommend two things. First, I'm taking a photography class that is totally amazing. I still scratch my head at the people who adjust the f-stop on every photo, (because I'm trying to shoot pics while Jackson is running away) but my eye is getting much better.

Second, I bought a new camera. If you've been thinking *forever* that you were interested in buying a dSLR (digital single lens reflex) camera, AKA one of those big cameras with changeable lenses, I'm really happy with mine. I bought the Canon Digital Rebel Xsi (450D). I did a lot of research and asked photographers who all agreed on this one. The wonderful photographer who shot Kevin's wedding recommended it highly.

The combination of new camera and photo class has been perfect. I don't know if I would have ever figured out how to really use this camera to it's full potential without the class. Now I just need a second hard drive for all the pictures. :)

How the Hickeys Got Their Groove Back

2008-05-31T19:34:00.008-05:00

We took some time off from soccer. Liam and Maddie played a few seasons when we first moved here, then Bella joined for 63% of one season. (we discovered she doesn't "do" cold) We bundled up tiny little baby Jackson and took him to the field every Saturday morning for hours of soccer, yelling and wind. Then this past fall, I missed the signups. And it was just easier. With all three kids going to three different schools, by the time everyone was home at 4:30, I couldn't imagine getting in the car and going somewhere else. I am really possessive of our time at home. Kids need to play outside, to daydream, to eat dinner with their families.

Since I was starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and the school year was nearing a close, I signed Liam and Maddie up for a 6 week soccer session at our local YMCA. It's perfect. Maddie's team practices for 30 minutes, then plays for 30 minutes each Saturday. Liam's team practices one evening a week and plays a 40 minute game each Saturday. It's low pressure, with no parents screaming. (except for this one dad yelling at his kid in Spanish today)

The other advantage of this laid back group is our kids are really shining. Liam and Maddie each scored 2 goals today during their games. The coach took Liam and two other guys out of the game because they were beating on the other team so badly.

Here's a few pictures of the Hickey kids in all their glory...

Liam is doing a great job of managing the ball.

Maddie was the go-to girl that everyone was throwing in or kicking to.

She also volunteered to play goal.

Jackson and Bella both had a fever and a cough.
They were not having any fun.

Equal Opportunity Offspring

2008-05-27T10:02:00.011-05:00

We traveled into Ohio this weekend to attend a few family parties. We attended a surprise 80th birthday party for Great-Grandma Hickey and a graduation party for my cousin. On the way to the graduation party, we pulled up next to another of my cousins at a stop light. I chatted with him for a second and then we pulled away.

Maddie: "Who was that?"
Kat: "That was my cousin and his boyfriend."
Maddie: "They're gay?"
Kat: "Yep."
after a brief pause, Bella: "That's awkward."

What I love about this 5 year-old's response is that it's not at all judgmental. She took what she knows of the world and of our family and assessed (accurately) that being different from what people expect must be awkward. And she's right! The girls had a few more questions and we chatted for the remaining few minutes of the drive.

At the party, Maddie spent some time playing the piano with my cousin's boyfriend. They played Heart and Soul as a duet and he gave Maddie a few tips on playing more fluidly. When we got back in the car to go home, I asked Maddie what she thought of his piano playing (he's a very talented musician). She told me the piano tips he gave her.

Maddie: "He's really nice. I can see why (our cousin) likes him."

Busy day, busy day...

2008-05-12T13:50:00.006-05:00

Jackson has reached that age where kids start to really resist naps. He desperately needs them, but has trouble giving it up. It's hard sometimes because we tend to be on the go and sometimes he'll fall asleep at 8:30 am on the way home from dropping off kids at school, or will hold out until we go pick up Liam at 3:00 pm. Other days, he completely crashes.

Exhibit A:

I offered him a graham cracker. He didn't want it and acted offended that I offered. He threw the cracker on the kitchen floor and proceeded to eat the scrambled eggs that were on the table. After eating the eggs, he started asking for the cracker again. I let him get down to get the cracker. I am not sure if he actually took a bite. I do know that I watched him slowly put his head down on the floor. He didn't move for a few seconds, then a minute, then another minute. So, like the great mom that I am, I grabbed the camera.

I have so many pictures of the kids sleeping in unusual places and positions that I could create a whole new blog just for them. Maybe I'll post a few more here and there...

International Midwives Tribute 2008

2008-05-04T21:11:00.001-05:00

Our Doula Network hosted Penny Simkin for our two-day Birth to Baby Fair. This is the tribute to midwives and doulas' care that I made for the event. It includes a brief thank you to Penny at the end. We showed it at the birth professionals breakfast.

I'm famous!

2008-04-17T19:23:00.003-05:00

In case you're interested, I wrote the monthly article for www.fortwaynedoula.com, our local doula network's website. If you go to the website's main page, there I am!

So busy I'm out of breath...

2008-04-11T16:16:00.006-05:00

My husband likes to point out that I take on too many projects and none of them ever see completion. Although pregnancy may just be the exception...

Our local doula network is sponsoring a two-day baby/family fair including Penny Simkin as keynote speaker (who, by the way, is a really big deal). I am involved in many aspects of planning including making a moving picture tribute to midwives and doulas. I am also working with multiple private doula clients in addition to the normal stuff.

In order to illustrate how this feels:

* the baby emptied out a box of matches today while I cooked breakfast. and I allowed it.
* i shaved only one leg this morning.
* i dressed jackson completely to go out today and somehow forgot socks.
* i got completely dressed to meet with a client today and couldn't find the boots to go with the outfit. i looked for at least 5 minutes. i had no luck, so, I changed into pants. i went to look for the shoes for the new outfit and couldn't find them. then i found the boots.

That's all for now. Time to pick up the matches.

Oh. And check out the baby fair, it's gonna be cool!

www.birthtobaby.com

Lost in Translation

2008-04-08T07:03:00.014-05:00

All of the children have gone through a phase where they speak their own language. Some of them have had words that were so cute that their version of words made it into the Hickey vernacular. "Strawbabies" will always be our favorite fruit and forever we will refer to Liam as "Miam" as Maddie did in her first year. "Miam, no frow!" was the battle cry of young Maddie as she tried desperately to get him to stop throwing toys at her.

Jackson has taken this to a whole new level. We were in Florida visiting last week and then stopped in Ohio on the way home. With Jackson visiting family that doesn't see him every day, we realize that we need an English to Jacksonese dictionary. You may find a few things that seem a little backward - don't worry, that's just how he roll.

Heh-wo = Hello
Sah-ee = Sorry
Me! Me! = Yes, I want that!
Mine = No, I don't want that.
Eggies = Sausage (also hot dog, bratwurst, or any other sausage-like food)
Aw-foo = Waffle
Cee-yul = Cereal
Gah-grai = Blueberries or Grapes (they are completely interchangeable to him - but keep one or the other coming)
Eee-yuh = Yogurt
Foo = Food (as in, get me some)
Ee = Eat (as in, get me some food, see above)
A Go-go = Drink (maybe he really wants Whiskey to drink?)
Bee-bees = Nipples
Beh-ee = Belly
Ah-eee = Eyes (usually scream/whined in the car when sun is in his eyes)

Kn-kee = Any of these three things: Stinky (need a new diaper), Blankie, or Cookie
Keeeeee.... = Please?
Sha-shu, Mah-mee = Thank you, Mommy!
Bee = Bird
Bih = Bib
Shoo = Shoes
Sah = Socks
Uh-oh = Uh-oh
Pill = Spill
Shu-Shu = Train (also, car, truck or anything else he could potentially ride or drive)
Yeeeaaaaahhhhhh! [arms raised in the air triumphantly] = I just did something/arrived somewhere AWESOME!
Bye! Bye, mama! = Bye (usually said while walking away and waving after putting on one of the kids boots or my purse)

Weh Be-wa? = Where's Bella?
Weh Bee-um? = Where's Liam?
Weh Ah-ee? = Where's Maddie? (just started last week)
Weh Dah-dee? = Where's Daddy?
Weh Mah-mee? = Where's Mommy?
Weh Yay-cee? = Where's Lacy?
If we reply to any of the above questions with "I don't know, where is (insert name)", he puts his hands up questioningly and says "Uhhh?" If we wait another second, he'll usually reply "kool." (school)

The saddest part is that he's been asking about Liam and Bella for about a month, but seemed to have trouble with "Maddie." We finally started coaching and encouraging him to say Maddie. It just wasn't fair. She catered to his every whim and need and all he did was ask where Bella was!

Happy Birthday, Grandpa Hickey!

2008-03-25T08:32:00.004-05:00

The Young and the Restless

2008-03-05T17:16:00.003-05:00

Here are the questions Maddie asked at lunch today.

"Mom, can you have a baby when you're still in school?"
"When can I have a baby?"
"Do you have to be married to have a baby?"
"Did you have a lot of boyfriends?"

I don't like where any of this is going.

The two older kids were at our wedding, so obviously, they know that we had them first, then got married. We never had any intention of hiding that from them. I said that you can have a baby without being married, but it's harder.

Maddie: "But Aunt Jody did it?"

Liam: "Yeah, but it was hard. Do you know how long it took for her to find Uncle Kevin?"

Nontraditional parenting sure has its challenges.

Final word - Bella: "Does everyone have to have a baby? 'Cause I do not want to have one!"

Maybe letting kids watch their own births on video isn't such a bad idea after all.

Just Shoot Me!

2008-03-04T17:58:00.004-05:00

Bella came home from school and sat down at the kitchen table for her snack. She asked questions with such urgency, she was almost out of breath.

Bella: "Did you guys get me shots when I was a baby?"

Kat: "No."

Bella: "Aw, man! Now I'm going to get the chicken pox!"

Kat: "Um.... What?"

Bella: "My friend at school has the chicken pox and her and her mom came in today to tell us about them. Her mom said not to worry, that I wouldn't get them if I got a shot when I was a baby. Now I'm going to get them."

She glared rather accusingly at me. Who knew. Most kids would be thrilled to be spared the endless poking.

I carefully braved the world of non-vaccination with the kids. I explained the two reasons why their dad and I decided not to vaccinate them. First, the shot doesn't always prevent the disease (ie. some kids who got the chicken pox shot will still get the chicken pox) and sometimes kids get sick from the shot. Maddie wanted to know more about that part. I told her about a friend they knew at their previous school who had a documented case of vaccine-induced autism.

I had to emphasize over and over (although I know it won't help) that we don't want to talk about this at school because we don't want to make any kids who got shots feel bad. I also emphasized that MOST kids who get shots are fine, but we didn't want to take that risk. Maddie asked why the doctors who give the shots don't tell people that they can cause problems. I told her that they don't believe it. And that the companies that make the shot do know, but don't want anyone else to know. And then my community activist daughter decided that the shot companies should go to jail. Look-out unjust world, here comes Maddie.

2007-10-28T19:49:00.000-05:00

Back to the Future

2007-10-26T15:09:00.001-05:00

I am obsessed with the blog entries being dated for when the event happened. So, although I blogged about the first day of school this past Wednesday, I marked the date for August 20. Which is really annoying for people reading it, I figured out. So, here are the links to a few recent updates.

http://thehickeyfamily.blogspot.com/2007/10/blog-post_24.html
http://thehickeyfamily.blogspot.com/2007/10/after-big-first-day-second-day-can-be.html

Children of a Lesser Actor

2007-10-23T18:37:00.000-05:00

You know that you're not the typical midwestern parent when you find yourself saying to your child:

"Oh, he's what's called a drag queen. He's a man, but he dresses up as a woman."

The backstory:

We've spent a lot of time *not* acting as though differences between people are significant. It took until last year until someone brought the word "black" into our home as a description of another person. The kids first noticed there was a child in their class in pre-k that looked a little different.

Maddie (age 4): "Mommy, there's a new boy in our class. He is really tan."

Kat: "Oh, you mean like Grandma Hickey?"

Maddie: "No, WAY tanner than Grandma Hickey!"

Kat: "That's cool. People have all different color skin."

Maddie: "But his hair is different than mine. It's really squiggly."

Kat: "It sounds cool. Isn't it funny how hair comes in all different colors and textures?"

So, here we are, four years later. Last year, we had to have a conversation that "gay" was not an adjective that they could use to describe a game they didn't like, ie. "that game is gay." We talked about what gay really means. Maddie always remembers the girl in her class in pre-k who has two moms.

Today, we were listening to music and a song from RENT came on. The kids have seen bits and pieces of it and they know the basic plot line: "AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS... Everybody has AIDS!" The kids were asking about the characters and Liam said that lots of them were gay. I agreed. They asked the characters names and what they were about. And, that, my friends, is how I came to define "drag queen" for my nine year old.

What are you gonna do?

2007-10-21T22:08:00.000-05:00

Grandma Dot came to visit this weekend, to help us out with the kids and to go to Liam's "Grandparents Day" at school. Today, the weather was amazing, so while John and I watched football at BW3's, the kids played outside. Maddie was riding her bike and one of the neighbor kids came up to her.

Neighbor kid: "Why are you wearing a helmet?"

Maddie: "Oh, my grandma's here. She's all about safety."

I'm a real boy!

2007-10-06T19:47:00.000-05:00

The time had come. That baby had been sleeping in a crib attached "side-car" style to our bed. I loved it and we were all sleeping well, but the time had come for us all to move on. I could have stayed like that forever, waking in the middle of the night to him sliding over and laying his head on my pillow. But, it is important to allow him to develop his independence, and important for my husband and I to have our bed to ourselves again.

Grandma Dot had bought Jackson a darling toddler bed from Pottery Barn. We took down the crib and set it up. It's absolutely adorable. That baby seems to like the idea of it a bit more than actually sleeping in it all night, but it's growing on him.

He just looks so darn cute in it. And old. Really, really old.

That first baby seemed to like the new big boy bed too.

Joining the "boys with their own beds" club earned Jackson a big ol' "high five."

This is how he looks first thing out of bed in the morning and after naps. He slides down off the bed, stumbles out of the bedroom and says "hi!" "Hi!" It couldn't be any cuter.

I got the "Bad Mom Blues..."

2007-09-13T19:32:00.000-05:00

First time moms tend to react quickly when their child is in a potentially dangerous situation. They rush over, sometimes even looking scared enough to scare the child. This can be a great way to deter babies from doing things they're not supposed to. When you get to the fourth child, however, some moms become a little more... relaxed. So, when Jackson climbed into the dryer, I didn't freak out as many moms might. I calmly reached up to turn the dial to off (preventing it from tumbling if the door closed all the way) and reached for the camera. Does that make me a bad mom? You decide...

How can you resist that smile? He's having too much fun!

A Hard Day's Night

2007-09-10T19:55:00.000-05:00

It can be tough to be a baby. Especially when errands need to be run. I had to get the car serviced, so Jackson and I ran to the grocery store for the things I needed for supper. Then, we went to the dealership to drop off the car. Then, I moved the groceries, all my stuff, and Jackson, car seat and all, from the van, to the shuttle, to the driveway.

I just found the sight of him in the car seat asleep in the driveway too cute to resist.

Maddie's first bus ride

2007-09-07T20:17:00.000-05:00

Maddie was sick and stayed home from school on Bella's first day riding the bus, so Maddie has her own "First Day" on the bus. They seem to really love it - I'm an optimist, but I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Bella's first bus ride

2007-09-05T20:18:00.000-05:00

When we were making plans for transportation, I told the kids that I would drive them to school for the first month. It was good for me to drive it for two weeks and see how insane it was. We left home by 7:15 A each day and I dropped of Liam, then Bella, then Maddie and I got home just after 9 A. Then, I left home just before 2 in the afternoon and got home after 4. Four hours a day. It was all kinds of crazy. Bella got car sick a few of the days, and actually threw up one of the mornings on the way. I was worried after the first week that Jackson would ask to be emancipated so he didn't have to do the drive any more.
So, I decided I couldn't do it anymore. I found out that there is a family in my neighborhood that has a son at Maddie's school and a daughter in the same class as Bella. They ride the bus too, so the kids have a buddy to ride with.

Here's Bella with her new buddy. They have a love/drama relationship where they get along great and then they boss each other around for the rest of the time.

The second day of school blues

2007-08-21T20:57:00.000-05:00

After a big first day, the second day can be a little... exhausting. Bella fell asleep. At least she went backward instead of face first into her cereal bowl.