You know you're a Hickey when...

"mom, can you move that henna from the kitchen to your bathroom? All my food taste like henna."

Excerpts from a letter sent to Liam's preschool teacher

The kids started school at a lovely Waldorf school in Akron, Ohio.  It was a beautiful transition from home to schooling.  Their first preschool teacher was the kindest, gentlest, most soft spoken woman you can imagine.  I felt inspired to write her and thank her for those early years.  Here is my letter.

 "I want you to know what a tremendous gift you were to me.  As a young mother with three small children, I felt overwhelmed by Liam’s needs.  He didn’t transition well from one task to another.  He was physical with other kids and had trouble focusing on the task at hand.  I vividly remember your words in a parent-teacher conference the year you had both of my kids in your class.  You said, “Kat, Liam came into the world this way.  He chose you as his mother because you would know what to do.”  That brought me such great comfort.  Thinking that I hadn’t “broken him”, but that I was his champion, his advocate and his guide was so incredibly helpful to me.  It fortified my resolve to help him find the best way to be himself and yet still function in the world around him.  Over the years, he’s found tricks and tools that have helped him become a great student - he’s taking AP US History and AP Literature this year.  He is on the honor roll every year.  He won his school talent show in 5th grade by dancing an improvised dance in front of his entire school.  He’s performed in school plays at the middle school and high school level and has been in several local commercials.  More than that, he is a calm, considerate, thoughtful person.  He is genuinely interested in people and he loves spending time with people of all ages.

What brought me to contact you is a realization I had while watching him do what he is truly passionate about - drumming.  He plays the drum set in many styles, but really loves jazz.  When I watch him play with his jazz combo, I see his attention split in many directions - the bass, the piano, the other instruments.  Keeping time, not letting anyone fall behind or rush ahead, balancing sound so he doesn’t overpower the other musicians.  Adapting in each moment to give the best performance possible.  And then I realize, I didn’t have an ADD child or a distracted child or a troublemaker.  I had a drummer.

Thank you so much for being a solid rock for me in those early years.  I am grateful for the courage you helped me have to let him be who he was to become.

I’m sure it’s no surprise that Maddie is also amazing and pure magic.  She is such an incredible version of the small girl you once knew.  I’ve attached a family photo and two links of the kids performing, if you’d like to see.

Liam playing with his school Jazz Big Band last weekend: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_EkdQWv5R0
Maddie playing guitar and singing with a friend, Liam on percussion: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FnBDCLQ3jsY

I hope you and your family are well.  And I hope you know the tremendous blessing you are to so many, just by being you.

In gratitude always,

Kat Hickey"

overheard in the past two minutes

"I'm so popular, I have two gay guys who want to ask me to the dance!"

"The opening sound when you turn on the xBox is a D chord."

early morning musings with the dude

"Mama, when I have kids, I'm going to name them Calvin and Hobbes."

"Our family is a girl sandwich."

Things only drummers say #1

Liam: "Dad, are you packed?"

John: "Yep. You?"

Liam: "Yeah.  I just threw everything in my cajon."

even my seven year old understands evidence-based care...

My cousin just gave birth to her second baby.  Jackson had some questions this morning about pregnancy.  He wanted to know how the belly got that big.  Did it just happen one day while the mama was sleeping?  I told him about nine months of gestation, how the baby grows just a little each day. 

Kat: "One day, the baby decides he or she is all done inside and begins labor."

Jackson: "How does the baby decide it's time?"

Kat: "We don't really understand it.  Doctors have been trying to figure it out for years."

Jackson: "Well, maybe they should just leave that to the scientists to figure out."

I get by with a little help...

I am grateful that I am part of a supportive community of birth professionals.  there are not many people who would lend me their blender knowing what I planned to do with it.  thanks, Kristin. #365gratitude

beginning the year with gratitude

today I begin a #365gratitude project.

instead of feeling like I am ready to bid good riddance to 2013, I feel strangely fond of it.  I learned so much.  much through pain and tears, yes.  but so much.  I feel that the next step is to embrace this intentional practice of gratitude.  let the fun begin.

a poem by Liam Hickey

Drummer to Drummer

Life for me hasn't been
a nice drum set.

It had dented toms,

and old Sabian cymbals,

and a hole in the bass,

and a snare with no head -

gone.

But all the while

I still drum on it

and hitting it

and beating drumsticks on it

and sometimes I miss

where the timing gets rough.

So, drummer, don't you give up

don't drop your drumsticks

because it's hard to pick them up again.

Don't you give up

for I'm still hitting

And life for me hasn't
been a nice drumset.

I think you got your lions crossed.

When the kids have a normal childhood ailment like a rash or congestion, we don't take them to a normal doctor like normal people.  We take them to the chiropractor, who uses adjustments, nutrition (vitamins and herbs), muscle testing and emotional release techniques to help get to the bottom of the issue.  Shhhhhhh.  Don't tell anyone.  I think we may still appear normal to people who don't know us well.

So, Jackson has had a strange rash on his legs that started after he scratched open a nasty patch of mosquito bites.  Some muscle testing determined that he has an imbalance in his gall bladder area.  The gall bladder area is often connected to the emotions of anger and frustration.  The chiropractor asked Jackson if he was angry or frustrated about anything.  (sidebar: this technique is much more effective with adults and teens who think: "hmmmm... have I been angry or frustrated about anything in the last week or so?" whereas the seven year old can only think of how he is still angry with his sister for tossing her shoe at him in the car on the way to the appointment.)

Jackson [thinking]: "hmmmmmm..."

Kat: "We have been getting ready to go back to school and summer is coming to an end."

Chiropractor: "Jackson, how are you feeling about returning to school?"

Jackson: "Good."

He asks a few more questions about his teacher and school.  Jackson seems okay with it.

Chiropractor: "Jackson, how do you feel about summer coming to an end? Is there anything you wished that you had done?"

Jackson: [instantly angry] "YESSSS!  I did NOT get to go BUNGEE JUMPING!!"  He is near tears with frustration.

We all bust out laughing.  After we finally settle down, I try to compassionately approach the topic.

Kat: "Jack. Honey.  You have to be 18 years old to go bungee jumping..."

Jackson: "You do?!?"

Kat: "Yes, baby.  It's dangerous.  Kids can't do it."

Jackson: "But!  But!  I did it befowre!"

And then I instantly realize.  He means EuroBungy.

I ask him if he means EuroBungy and he does.  We explain to him what actual bungee jumping is.  He laughs hysterically.