So busy I'm out of breath...

My husband likes to point out that I take on too many projects and none of them ever see completion. Although pregnancy may just be the exception...

Our local doula network is sponsoring a two-day baby/family fair including Penny Simkin as keynote speaker (who, by the way, is a really big deal). I am involved in many aspects of planning including making a moving picture tribute to midwives and doulas. I am also working with multiple private doula clients in addition to the normal stuff.

In order to illustrate how this feels:

* the baby emptied out a box of matches today while I cooked breakfast. and I allowed it.
* i shaved only one leg this morning.
* i dressed jackson completely to go out today and somehow forgot socks.
* i got completely dressed to meet with a client today and couldn't find the boots to go with the outfit. i looked for at least 5 minutes. i had no luck, so, I changed into pants. i went to look for the shoes for the new outfit and couldn't find them. then i found the boots.

That's all for now. Time to pick up the matches.

Oh. And check out the baby fair, it's gonna be cool!

www.birthtobaby.com

Lost in Translation

All of the children have gone through a phase where they speak their own language. Some of them have had words that were so cute that their version of words made it into the Hickey vernacular. "Strawbabies" will always be our favorite fruit and forever we will refer to Liam as "Miam" as Maddie did in her first year. "Miam, no frow!" was the battle cry of young Maddie as she tried desperately to get him to stop throwing toys at her.

Jackson has taken this to a whole new level. We were in Florida visiting last week and then stopped in Ohio on the way home. With Jackson visiting family that doesn't see him every day, we realize that we need an English to Jacksonese dictionary. You may find a few things that seem a little backward - don't worry, that's just how he roll.

Heh-wo = Hello
Sah-ee = Sorry
Me! Me! = Yes, I want that!
Mine = No, I don't want that.
Eggies = Sausage (also hot dog, bratwurst, or any other sausage-like food)
Aw-foo = Waffle
Cee-yul = Cereal
Gah-grai = Blueberries or Grapes (they are completely interchangeable to him - but keep one or the other coming)
Eee-yuh = Yogurt
Foo = Food (as in, get me some)
Ee = Eat (as in, get me some food, see above)
A Go-go = Drink (maybe he really wants Whiskey to drink?)
Bee-bees = Nipples
Beh-ee = Belly
Ah-eee = Eyes (usually scream/whined in the car when sun is in his eyes)

Kn-kee = Any of these three things: Stinky (need a new diaper), Blankie, or Cookie
Keeeeee.... = Please?
Sha-shu, Mah-mee = Thank you, Mommy!
Bee = Bird
Bih = Bib
Shoo = Shoes
Sah = Socks
Uh-oh = Uh-oh
Pill = Spill
Shu-Shu = Train (also, car, truck or anything else he could potentially ride or drive)
Yeeeaaaaahhhhhh! [arms raised in the air triumphantly] = I just did something/arrived somewhere AWESOME!
Bye! Bye, mama! = Bye (usually said while walking away and waving after putting on one of the kids boots or my purse)

Weh Be-wa? = Where's Bella?
Weh Bee-um? = Where's Liam?
Weh Ah-ee? = Where's Maddie? (just started last week)
Weh Dah-dee? = Where's Daddy?
Weh Mah-mee? = Where's Mommy?
Weh Yay-cee? = Where's Lacy?
If we reply to any of the above questions with "I don't know, where is (insert name)", he puts his hands up questioningly and says "Uhhh?" If we wait another second, he'll usually reply "kool." (school)

The saddest part is that he's been asking about Liam and Bella for about a month, but seemed to have trouble with "Maddie." We finally started coaching and encouraging him to say Maddie. It just wasn't fair. She catered to his every whim and need and all he did was ask where Bella was!

Happy Birthday, Grandpa Hickey!

The Young and the Restless

Here are the questions Maddie asked at lunch today.

"Mom, can you have a baby when you're still in school?"
"When can I have a baby?"
"Do you have to be married to have a baby?"
"Did you have a lot of boyfriends?"

I don't like where any of this is going.

The two older kids were at our wedding, so obviously, they know that we had them first, then got married. We never had any intention of hiding that from them. I said that you can have a baby without being married, but it's harder.

Maddie: "But Aunt Jody did it?"

Liam: "Yeah, but it was hard. Do you know how long it took for her to find Uncle Kevin?"

Nontraditional parenting sure has its challenges.

Final word - Bella: "Does everyone have to have a baby? 'Cause I do not want to have one!"

Maybe letting kids watch their own births on video isn't such a bad idea after all.

Just Shoot Me!

Bella came home from school and sat down at the kitchen table for her snack. She asked questions with such urgency, she was almost out of breath.

Bella: "Did you guys get me shots when I was a baby?"

Kat: "No."

Bella: "Aw, man! Now I'm going to get the chicken pox!"

Kat: "Um.... What?"

Bella: "My friend at school has the chicken pox and her and her mom came in today to tell us about them. Her mom said not to worry, that I wouldn't get them if I got a shot when I was a baby. Now I'm going to get them."

She glared rather accusingly at me. Who knew. Most kids would be thrilled to be spared the endless poking.

I carefully braved the world of non-vaccination with the kids. I explained the two reasons why their dad and I decided not to vaccinate them. First, the shot doesn't always prevent the disease (ie. some kids who got the chicken pox shot will still get the chicken pox) and sometimes kids get sick from the shot. Maddie wanted to know more about that part. I told her about a friend they knew at their previous school who had a documented case of vaccine-induced autism.

I had to emphasize over and over (although I know it won't help) that we don't want to talk about this at school because we don't want to make any kids who got shots feel bad. I also emphasized that MOST kids who get shots are fine, but we didn't want to take that risk. Maddie asked why the doctors who give the shots don't tell people that they can cause problems. I told her that they don't believe it. And that the companies that make the shot do know, but don't want anyone else to know. And then my community activist daughter decided that the shot companies should go to jail. Look-out unjust world, here comes Maddie.

Back to the Future

I am obsessed with the blog entries being dated for when the event happened. So, although I blogged about the first day of school this past Wednesday, I marked the date for August 20. Which is really annoying for people reading it, I figured out. So, here are the links to a few recent updates.

http://thehickeyfamily.blogspot.com/2007/10/blog-post_24.html
http://thehickeyfamily.blogspot.com/2007/10/after-big-first-day-second-day-can-be.html

Children of a Lesser Actor

You know that you're not the typical midwestern parent when you find yourself saying to your child:

"Oh, he's what's called a drag queen. He's a man, but he dresses up as a woman."

The backstory:

We've spent a lot of time *not* acting as though differences between people are significant. It took until last year until someone brought the word "black" into our home as a description of another person. The kids first noticed there was a child in their class in pre-k that looked a little different.

Maddie (age 4): "Mommy, there's a new boy in our class. He is really tan."

Kat: "Oh, you mean like Grandma Hickey?"

Maddie: "No, WAY tanner than Grandma Hickey!"

Kat: "That's cool. People have all different color skin."

Maddie: "But his hair is different than mine. It's really squiggly."

Kat: "It sounds cool. Isn't it funny how hair comes in all different colors and textures?"


So, here we are, four years later. Last year, we had to have a conversation that "gay" was not an adjective that they could use to describe a game they didn't like, ie. "that game is gay." We talked about what gay really means. Maddie always remembers the girl in her class in pre-k who has two moms.

Today, we were listening to music and a song from RENT came on. The kids have seen bits and pieces of it and they know the basic plot line: "AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS... Everybody has AIDS!" The kids were asking about the characters and Liam said that lots of them were gay. I agreed. They asked the characters names and what they were about. And, that, my friends, is how I came to define "drag queen" for my nine year old.

What are you gonna do?

Grandma Dot came to visit this weekend, to help us out with the kids and to go to Liam's "Grandparents Day" at school. Today, the weather was amazing, so while John and I watched football at BW3's, the kids played outside. Maddie was riding her bike and one of the neighbor kids came up to her.

Neighbor kid: "Why are you wearing a helmet?"

Maddie: "Oh, my grandma's here. She's all about safety."

I'm a real boy!

The time had come. That baby had been sleeping in a crib attached "side-car" style to our bed. I loved it and we were all sleeping well, but the time had come for us all to move on. I could have stayed like that forever, waking in the middle of the night to him sliding over and laying his head on my pillow. But, it is important to allow him to develop his independence, and important for my husband and I to have our bed to ourselves again.

Grandma Dot had bought Jackson a darling toddler bed from Pottery Barn. We took down the crib and set it up. It's absolutely adorable. That baby seems to like the idea of it a bit more than actually sleeping in it all night, but it's growing on him.

He just looks so darn cute in it. And old. Really, really old.

That first baby seemed to like the new big boy bed too.

Joining the "boys with their own beds" club earned Jackson a big ol' "high five."

This is how he looks first thing out of bed in the morning and after naps. He slides down off the bed, stumbles out of the bedroom and says "hi!" "Hi!" It couldn't be any cuter.