How the Hickeys Got Their Groove Back

We took some time off from soccer. Liam and Maddie played a few seasons when we first moved here, then Bella joined for 63% of one season. (we discovered she doesn't "do" cold) We bundled up tiny little baby Jackson and took him to the field every Saturday morning for hours of soccer, yelling and wind. Then this past fall, I missed the signups. And it was just easier. With all three kids going to three different schools, by the time everyone was home at 4:30, I couldn't imagine getting in the car and going somewhere else. I am really possessive of our time at home. Kids need to play outside, to daydream, to eat dinner with their families.

Since I was starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and the school year was nearing a close, I signed Liam and Maddie up for a 6 week soccer session at our local YMCA. It's perfect. Maddie's team practices for 30 minutes, then plays for 30 minutes each Saturday. Liam's team practices one evening a week and plays a 40 minute game each Saturday. It's low pressure, with no parents screaming. (except for this one dad yelling at his kid in Spanish today)

The other advantage of this laid back group is our kids are really shining. Liam and Maddie each scored 2 goals today during their games. The coach took Liam and two other guys out of the game because they were beating on the other team so badly.

Here's a few pictures of the Hickey kids in all their glory...

Liam is doing a great job of managing the ball.

Maddie was the go-to girl that everyone was throwing in or kicking to.

She also volunteered to play goal.

Jackson and Bella both had a fever and a cough.
They were not having any fun.

Equal Opportunity Offspring

We traveled into Ohio this weekend to attend a few family parties. We attended a surprise 80th birthday party for Great-Grandma Hickey and a graduation party for my cousin. On the way to the graduation party, we pulled up next to another of my cousins at a stop light. I chatted with him for a second and then we pulled away.

Maddie: "Who was that?"
Kat: "That was my cousin and his boyfriend."
Maddie: "They're gay?"
Kat: "Yep."
after a brief pause, Bella: "That's awkward."

What I love about this 5 year-old's response is that it's not at all judgmental. She took what she knows of the world and of our family and assessed (accurately) that being different from what people expect must be awkward. And she's right! The girls had a few more questions and we chatted for the remaining few minutes of the drive.

At the party, Maddie spent some time playing the piano with my cousin's boyfriend. They played Heart and Soul as a duet and he gave Maddie a few tips on playing more fluidly. When we got back in the car to go home, I asked Maddie what she thought of his piano playing (he's a very talented musician). She told me the piano tips he gave her.

Maddie: "He's really nice. I can see why (our cousin) likes him."

Busy day, busy day...

Jackson has reached that age where kids start to really resist naps. He desperately needs them, but has trouble giving it up. It's hard sometimes because we tend to be on the go and sometimes he'll fall asleep at 8:30 am on the way home from dropping off kids at school, or will hold out until we go pick up Liam at 3:00 pm. Other days, he completely crashes.

Exhibit A:



I offered him a graham cracker. He didn't want it and acted offended that I offered. He threw the cracker on the kitchen floor and proceeded to eat the scrambled eggs that were on the table. After eating the eggs, he started asking for the cracker again. I let him get down to get the cracker. I am not sure if he actually took a bite. I do know that I watched him slowly put his head down on the floor. He didn't move for a few seconds, then a minute, then another minute. So, like the great mom that I am, I grabbed the camera.

I have so many pictures of the kids sleeping in unusual places and positions that I could create a whole new blog just for them. Maybe I'll post a few more here and there...

International Midwives Tribute 2008

Our Doula Network hosted Penny Simkin for our two-day Birth to Baby Fair. This is the tribute to midwives and doulas' care that I made for the event. It includes a brief thank you to Penny at the end. We showed it at the birth professionals breakfast.

I'm famous!

In case you're interested, I wrote the monthly article for www.fortwaynedoula.com, our local doula network's website. If you go to the website's main page, there I am!

So busy I'm out of breath...

My husband likes to point out that I take on too many projects and none of them ever see completion. Although pregnancy may just be the exception...

Our local doula network is sponsoring a two-day baby/family fair including Penny Simkin as keynote speaker (who, by the way, is a really big deal). I am involved in many aspects of planning including making a moving picture tribute to midwives and doulas. I am also working with multiple private doula clients in addition to the normal stuff.

In order to illustrate how this feels:

* the baby emptied out a box of matches today while I cooked breakfast. and I allowed it.
* i shaved only one leg this morning.
* i dressed jackson completely to go out today and somehow forgot socks.
* i got completely dressed to meet with a client today and couldn't find the boots to go with the outfit. i looked for at least 5 minutes. i had no luck, so, I changed into pants. i went to look for the shoes for the new outfit and couldn't find them. then i found the boots.

That's all for now. Time to pick up the matches.

Oh. And check out the baby fair, it's gonna be cool!

www.birthtobaby.com

Lost in Translation

All of the children have gone through a phase where they speak their own language. Some of them have had words that were so cute that their version of words made it into the Hickey vernacular. "Strawbabies" will always be our favorite fruit and forever we will refer to Liam as "Miam" as Maddie did in her first year. "Miam, no frow!" was the battle cry of young Maddie as she tried desperately to get him to stop throwing toys at her.

Jackson has taken this to a whole new level. We were in Florida visiting last week and then stopped in Ohio on the way home. With Jackson visiting family that doesn't see him every day, we realize that we need an English to Jacksonese dictionary. You may find a few things that seem a little backward - don't worry, that's just how he roll.

Heh-wo = Hello
Sah-ee = Sorry
Me! Me! = Yes, I want that!
Mine = No, I don't want that.
Eggies = Sausage (also hot dog, bratwurst, or any other sausage-like food)
Aw-foo = Waffle
Cee-yul = Cereal
Gah-grai = Blueberries or Grapes (they are completely interchangeable to him - but keep one or the other coming)
Eee-yuh = Yogurt
Foo = Food (as in, get me some)
Ee = Eat (as in, get me some food, see above)
A Go-go = Drink (maybe he really wants Whiskey to drink?)
Bee-bees = Nipples
Beh-ee = Belly
Ah-eee = Eyes (usually scream/whined in the car when sun is in his eyes)

Kn-kee = Any of these three things: Stinky (need a new diaper), Blankie, or Cookie
Keeeeee.... = Please?
Sha-shu, Mah-mee = Thank you, Mommy!
Bee = Bird
Bih = Bib
Shoo = Shoes
Sah = Socks
Uh-oh = Uh-oh
Pill = Spill
Shu-Shu = Train (also, car, truck or anything else he could potentially ride or drive)
Yeeeaaaaahhhhhh! [arms raised in the air triumphantly] = I just did something/arrived somewhere AWESOME!
Bye! Bye, mama! = Bye (usually said while walking away and waving after putting on one of the kids boots or my purse)

Weh Be-wa? = Where's Bella?
Weh Bee-um? = Where's Liam?
Weh Ah-ee? = Where's Maddie? (just started last week)
Weh Dah-dee? = Where's Daddy?
Weh Mah-mee? = Where's Mommy?
Weh Yay-cee? = Where's Lacy?
If we reply to any of the above questions with "I don't know, where is (insert name)", he puts his hands up questioningly and says "Uhhh?" If we wait another second, he'll usually reply "kool." (school)

The saddest part is that he's been asking about Liam and Bella for about a month, but seemed to have trouble with "Maddie." We finally started coaching and encouraging him to say Maddie. It just wasn't fair. She catered to his every whim and need and all he did was ask where Bella was!

Happy Birthday, Grandpa Hickey!

The Young and the Restless

Here are the questions Maddie asked at lunch today.

"Mom, can you have a baby when you're still in school?"
"When can I have a baby?"
"Do you have to be married to have a baby?"
"Did you have a lot of boyfriends?"

I don't like where any of this is going.

The two older kids were at our wedding, so obviously, they know that we had them first, then got married. We never had any intention of hiding that from them. I said that you can have a baby without being married, but it's harder.

Maddie: "But Aunt Jody did it?"

Liam: "Yeah, but it was hard. Do you know how long it took for her to find Uncle Kevin?"

Nontraditional parenting sure has its challenges.

Final word - Bella: "Does everyone have to have a baby? 'Cause I do not want to have one!"

Maybe letting kids watch their own births on video isn't such a bad idea after all.

Just Shoot Me!

Bella came home from school and sat down at the kitchen table for her snack. She asked questions with such urgency, she was almost out of breath.

Bella: "Did you guys get me shots when I was a baby?"

Kat: "No."

Bella: "Aw, man! Now I'm going to get the chicken pox!"

Kat: "Um.... What?"

Bella: "My friend at school has the chicken pox and her and her mom came in today to tell us about them. Her mom said not to worry, that I wouldn't get them if I got a shot when I was a baby. Now I'm going to get them."

She glared rather accusingly at me. Who knew. Most kids would be thrilled to be spared the endless poking.

I carefully braved the world of non-vaccination with the kids. I explained the two reasons why their dad and I decided not to vaccinate them. First, the shot doesn't always prevent the disease (ie. some kids who got the chicken pox shot will still get the chicken pox) and sometimes kids get sick from the shot. Maddie wanted to know more about that part. I told her about a friend they knew at their previous school who had a documented case of vaccine-induced autism.

I had to emphasize over and over (although I know it won't help) that we don't want to talk about this at school because we don't want to make any kids who got shots feel bad. I also emphasized that MOST kids who get shots are fine, but we didn't want to take that risk. Maddie asked why the doctors who give the shots don't tell people that they can cause problems. I told her that they don't believe it. And that the companies that make the shot do know, but don't want anyone else to know. And then my community activist daughter decided that the shot companies should go to jail. Look-out unjust world, here comes Maddie.