Kink in the hose

Jackson has always been the kind of kid who stripped down naked to pee. He also mounted the toilet seat backward, like a horse. He would sit facing the toilet tank. Recently, he grew tired of taking off his shoes to pee, which I can totally understand. He noticed that John stood at the toilet to pee. He was fascinated by this and started saying "I 'tand up, wike Daddy. I 'tand up, mama!"

We had some discussions about the toilet seat rules: stand to pee - lift the seat. Sit to pee - leave the seat down. I thought that I had adequately addressed the standing to pee etiquette.

I was getting ready for a holiday party with my doula network. Jackson from the kitchen into the bathroom. A moment or two later, I hear...

Jackson: "Aw, man!"

I go into the bathroom and he is standing at the toilet. He looks up at me.

Jackson: [sigh] "I pee in my haiw, mom!"

I look down and sure enough, his bangs on the left side of his face are wet. I also notice that he didn't get himself completely out of his pants. Instead, his penis was pinched in the waistband of the pants, pointing straight up - kind of like when you pinch the end of a hose. I also noticed that the entire wall to his left was dripping wet. It took me a good three minutes to stop laughing and explain the scene to the rest of the family in the kitchen. Once we all laughed and Jackson realized I wasn't mad, he thought it was quite funny too.