performance anxiety

Jackson: [panicky] "Dad! Dad!"

John: "What, Jackson? What's wrong?"

Jackson: "Dad! I habe da hiccups an' my pway is tomorrow!"

Speechless and so proud

I really had a hard time with Liam when he was younger.  His brain works differently than mine.  I knew how to motivate Maddie - her temperament is so similar to mine.  Liam frustrated me.  He frustrated his teachers.  I couldn't get him to follow the rules, he didn't care much about completing the tasks others wanted him to complete or the timetable they wanted them done.

At a certain age, he just began maturing.  He took more responsibility for things.  The brain seemed to connect better.  He would complete tasks and became a better student, in the traditional sense.  He also started to find his passions: dancing, drumming, performing.

Now, at age 14, he astounds me.  He is creative and kind.  He is thoughtful and conscientious.  Strangely enough, he also seems impervious to other people's opinions of him.  He does what he wants.  He does what he enjoys.  The opinions of the kids at school don't seem to bother him much.  He truly "marches to the beat of his own drummer."  I couldn't be more proud of the man he is becoming and I take great comfort in the choice to allow him to unfold into who he was meant to be.  It was a challenge to parent him without choosing medication or shame.  I am so happy that, as a young mom, I chose to trust Liam.

Here is a letter we got from Liam's teacher today.

Mr. and Mrs. Hickey,

I am Liam’s language arts teacher this year.  I am contacting you to let you know how much I enjoy having Liam in my class.  He brings a zest for living…. how refreshing. I am happy to report that he scored 100% on his recent test, too.

I particularly enjoyed his performances at the “coffeehouse”.  He certainly was in his element!  Thanks to you, too, for your efforts in making that evening a success.  I hope that I am able to keep track of Liam’s success in the future.

Election stress

Jackson: "We bote tomorrow at skool."

Kat: "Oh, that's exciting!"

Jackson: "No, isss my homewowk.  I habe to decide who to bote for."

Bella: "Me too, Jackson! It's going to be fun!"

Jackson sits down in the chair and looks stressed.

Kat: "Jackson, are you worried?"

Jackson: [a little teary] "YES!  We bote tomorrow!  Tonight, I habe to figger out who to bote for!  It's my hoooooomework."

Kat: "Jack, you don't have to vote. You can just not check a box on the voting paper.  You are six years old.  It's just supposed to be fun.  You don't have to know who you want for a president tomorrow."

He looked a little more relaxed.

Kat: "Do you want me to tell you a little about the two candidates and what they stand for?"

Jackson nods.

I sat him down and told him (as unbiased as I could) about the candidates and their positions on a few issues.  I asked Jackson what was most important to him.

Jackson: "I wan' to bote for da guy who will hewp take care of people who don' habe enouf, ya know?  If dey can't buy food, or toys, I wan' a president who will hewp them."

I don't know.  Maybe six year olds aren't too young to know what matters.

no worries. he's got it.

John and I were discussing whether Jackson could see The Avengers.  We left Bella and Jackson at home when we saw it in the theater and I felt really happy about that decision once we saw the movie.  Afterward, the men-folk (John, Sean and Liam) thought Jackson and Bella would be okay to see it and the women-folk (Maddie and I) definitely disagreed.  Lots of violence and lots of dark concepts.  So, now that it's out on DVD, the conversation came up again.

John: "Listen.  He's not a baby.  He understands the difference between reality and fiction."

Kat: "Yeah.  He's six.  I want to continue to filter what he sees, just like we did for the other kids at this age."

John: "You're being overprotective. He's fine."

Jackson comes wandering in.

Kat: "Jackson - do you know the difference between things that are real and things that are pretend?  Like in movies and TV shows?"

Jackson: "Uh, yeah."

John [leading the witness]: "Like in Lord of the Rings.  You know what characters are real and what are not, right?"

Jackson: "Yeah.  Wike twolls.  Twolls are not weal.  Or orcs.  Dose aren't weal eiver."

John: [with a vindicated look on his face] "Right, Jackson.  They aren't real."

Jackson: "But hobbits?  Hobbits are weal."

Because I will take you out!

We were discussing Bella's proclivity for attracting bratty girlfriends. She has a friend who yells at her mother when she doesn't get her way. Maddie expresses her concern that Bella is learning bad habits from these friends.

Kat: "Bella, you know that girl is a brat, right?"
Bella: "Yeah, I know."
Kat: "And brats become bitches."
John: "And bitches get stitches."

Important clarification

We are laying on the couch watching a movie and Jackson reaches over and hugs me.

Jackson: "I wuv you, mama. Yer the best person I have ever met. (pause) So far."

Optical illusion

Kat: "So, are you going to wear pajama pants to school?"

Maddie: (looking down at her grey knit jammie pants) "I don't really care."

Kat: "Hmmmm... What about actual sweatpants instead?"

Maddie: "People wear stuff like this to school all the time, except it says, like Aeropostale on it and stuff."

Kat: "Yeah, that's pretty much what I mean."

Maddie: "Oh! You just want me to look like I'm trying?"

Kat: "Exactly."

Rainy days and Mondays... not so bad!

I went in to wake Jackson.

Jackson: "Mmmmm.  Mama, what day is it?"

Kat: "Monday."

Jackson: "Do I habe skool today?"

Kat: "Nope.  The kids do, but it's your day off."

Jackson (still sleepily): "Yay!  It's mama and Jackie day!"

The perils of having a doula for a mama...

Maddie: "So, I was talking to my friend about planning a time to get together. I said, 'Oh, that weekend, my dad is going to be in Sedona for a drum circle and stuff and my mom is going to be teaching childbirth class.' And then there was this pause as we both looked at each other. And I said, 'Um, my parents are strange, aren't they?'"




Liam: "Mom, what kind of meat is that in the oven?  Bacon?  I think you're burning it."

Kat: "It's a placenta."

Liam: "Oh, well that explains it."




Playing a board game with the kids. Jackson pulls a card: "Name all of the planets."

Jackson: "Ummmm... Earf?"

John: "Earth, yes. Do you know any other planets?"

Jackson: "Ummmm... Uterus?"

Life lessons, Dude-style

Jackson: "I wost a bet to Bewwa, so I haf to pay da pwice."

Just a little punctuation confusion

Jackson: "Mama? What does 'period' mean?"

Kat [running through recent conversations in his presence to remember when she had mentioned anything remotely menstrual]: "In what context? Where did you hear the word used?" [thinking about the 5 year old explanation of women's cycles...]

Jackson: "You just said it! You say it to your phone all the time! 'dinner is in the oven period'"

Random Jackson-isms

Bleary-eyed Jackson comes stumbling down from upstairs and gives me a hug. He leans in and says dreamily, "I wuv you, my onwy mama. Fank you for giving birf to me."

Jackson: "Mama? Can you teach me a song on da you-ka-layle? But it has ta be da Easiest Song in da Worwd 'cause I can onwy pway A minor an' C."




Jackson comes into the bathroom while I'm getting ready.

Jackson [with a quiet desperation]: "maaaaama? my parfait is taunting me." Kat: "Um? How is your parfait taunting you?"
Jackson: "It wooks soooo dewicious, but I can't eat it 'cause it's for my wunch."




On the drive to school, I was listening to the same song for about the hundredth time.

Jackson: "Haven't we wistened to dis song a wot?"

Kat: "Yes. I'm trying to learn it so that I can sing it with Daddy. You want to sing Daddy's part?"

Jackson: "Ummmmm, no. It's a wittle too compwicated for me."

Kat: "Yeah, you're right. It is a complicated song."

Jackson: "And, some of de words he's singin', I don't even know about!"




Jackson: "Mama? Know why I'm so 'cited?"

Kat: "No, why are you so excited?"

Jackson: "I can't *wait* for winter! I'm gonna make a snowman!"

Kat: "Um, Jackson, this is the end of winter."

Jackson: "What!?! But, it din't snow! I din't go swedding! I wanna buiwd a igloo!" [wail]

The Dude doing his best Elvis Costello