Back to the Future

I am obsessed with the blog entries being dated for when the event happened. So, although I blogged about the first day of school this past Wednesday, I marked the date for August 20. Which is really annoying for people reading it, I figured out. So, here are the links to a few recent updates.

http://thehickeyfamily.blogspot.com/2007/10/blog-post_24.html
http://thehickeyfamily.blogspot.com/2007/10/after-big-first-day-second-day-can-be.html

Children of a Lesser Actor

You know that you're not the typical midwestern parent when you find yourself saying to your child:

"Oh, he's what's called a drag queen. He's a man, but he dresses up as a woman."

The backstory:

We've spent a lot of time *not* acting as though differences between people are significant. It took until last year until someone brought the word "black" into our home as a description of another person. The kids first noticed there was a child in their class in pre-k that looked a little different.

Maddie (age 4): "Mommy, there's a new boy in our class. He is really tan."

Kat: "Oh, you mean like Grandma Hickey?"

Maddie: "No, WAY tanner than Grandma Hickey!"

Kat: "That's cool. People have all different color skin."

Maddie: "But his hair is different than mine. It's really squiggly."

Kat: "It sounds cool. Isn't it funny how hair comes in all different colors and textures?"


So, here we are, four years later. Last year, we had to have a conversation that "gay" was not an adjective that they could use to describe a game they didn't like, ie. "that game is gay." We talked about what gay really means. Maddie always remembers the girl in her class in pre-k who has two moms.

Today, we were listening to music and a song from RENT came on. The kids have seen bits and pieces of it and they know the basic plot line: "AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS... Everybody has AIDS!" The kids were asking about the characters and Liam said that lots of them were gay. I agreed. They asked the characters names and what they were about. And, that, my friends, is how I came to define "drag queen" for my nine year old.

What are you gonna do?

Grandma Dot came to visit this weekend, to help us out with the kids and to go to Liam's "Grandparents Day" at school. Today, the weather was amazing, so while John and I watched football at BW3's, the kids played outside. Maddie was riding her bike and one of the neighbor kids came up to her.

Neighbor kid: "Why are you wearing a helmet?"

Maddie: "Oh, my grandma's here. She's all about safety."

I'm a real boy!

The time had come. That baby had been sleeping in a crib attached "side-car" style to our bed. I loved it and we were all sleeping well, but the time had come for us all to move on. I could have stayed like that forever, waking in the middle of the night to him sliding over and laying his head on my pillow. But, it is important to allow him to develop his independence, and important for my husband and I to have our bed to ourselves again.

Grandma Dot had bought Jackson a darling toddler bed from Pottery Barn. We took down the crib and set it up. It's absolutely adorable. That baby seems to like the idea of it a bit more than actually sleeping in it all night, but it's growing on him.

He just looks so darn cute in it. And old. Really, really old.

That first baby seemed to like the new big boy bed too.

Joining the "boys with their own beds" club earned Jackson a big ol' "high five."

This is how he looks first thing out of bed in the morning and after naps. He slides down off the bed, stumbles out of the bedroom and says "hi!" "Hi!" It couldn't be any cuter.

I got the "Bad Mom Blues..."

First time moms tend to react quickly when their child is in a potentially dangerous situation. They rush over, sometimes even looking scared enough to scare the child. This can be a great way to deter babies from doing things they're not supposed to. When you get to the fourth child, however, some moms become a little more... relaxed. So, when Jackson climbed into the dryer, I didn't freak out as many moms might. I calmly reached up to turn the dial to off (preventing it from tumbling if the door closed all the way) and reached for the camera. Does that make me a bad mom? You decide...



How can you resist that smile? He's having too much fun!

A Hard Day's Night

It can be tough to be a baby. Especially when errands need to be run. I had to get the car serviced, so Jackson and I ran to the grocery store for the things I needed for supper. Then, we went to the dealership to drop off the car. Then, I moved the groceries, all my stuff, and Jackson, car seat and all, from the van, to the shuttle, to the driveway.

I just found the sight of him in the car seat asleep in the driveway too cute to resist.

Maddie's first bus ride

Maddie was sick and stayed home from school on Bella's first day riding the bus, so Maddie has her own "First Day" on the bus. They seem to really love it - I'm an optimist, but I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Bella's first bus ride

When we were making plans for transportation, I told the kids that I would drive them to school for the first month. It was good for me to drive it for two weeks and see how insane it was. We left home by 7:15 A each day and I dropped of Liam, then Bella, then Maddie and I got home just after 9 A. Then, I left home just before 2 in the afternoon and got home after 4. Four hours a day. It was all kinds of crazy. Bella got car sick a few of the days, and actually threw up one of the mornings on the way. I was worried after the first week that Jackson would ask to be emancipated so he didn't have to do the drive any more.
So, I decided I couldn't do it anymore. I found out that there is a family in my neighborhood that has a son at Maddie's school and a daughter in the same class as Bella. They ride the bus too, so the kids have a buddy to ride with.

Here's Bella with her new buddy. They have a love/drama relationship where they get along great and then they boss each other around for the rest of the time.

The second day of school blues

After a big first day, the second day can be a little... exhausting. Bella fell asleep. At least she went backward instead of face first into her cereal bowl.

First Day of School

Today was the big first day of school. All three kids are going to different schools: a Montessori magnet public school for Liam, a fine arts/performing arts magnet public school for Maddie and an arts/Reggio Emilia magnet public school for Bella. We had to apply for the lottery to get them in each school and it felt a little crazy to apply for them to go to three different schools. The alternative, though, was to send Maddie and Liam to the same school - the Montessori school would have been great for both, but really wouldn't have served Maddie's needs for arts. As far as sending them both to Maddie's school - Liam's enjoyment and success in school would have suffered too much in a traditional classroom, so that wasn't an option. Bella's easy - I could send her anywhere, but where she is going is so perfect for her - minimal academics with a focus on play and imagination. What kindergarten is SUPPOSED to be!


I always have to show a picture of "that child left behind" on the first day of school. He's thrilled to have all the toys... and the water softener salt... to himself.

Bella the princess...

We had a really fun party for Bella's birthday. We invited some girlfriends to an "imaginative play" place. The girls all took turns dressing up in different costumes and putting on little skits. They had a great time and Bella was in her glory, especially in her new beautiful summer dress!

Bella turns 5!

We celebrated Bella's birthday first with a visit from Grandpa Ken. Bella chose to have dinner at our usual birthday place: the Japanese steakhouse. It's the best because one whole wall has a tank full of gorgeous fish (they are always impressed with the massive puffer fish). Oh, and you get a tall glass of sherbet with a sparkler in it. It is all kinds of awesome.

Grandpa bought Bella two supercool sundresses (see pink one above) with coordinating flip-flops. And, she got a princess crown and wand, and a badge with "I am 5" on it! We went all out for the dress-wearing, princess-feeling birthday girl. And yet, she's that kid that always asks after four days of non-stop celebrating: "Is it still my birthday?"

Buddha 1, Jackson 0

We have a little statue of Buddha in our master bathroom. Jackson was playing around with it this morning and you know what? Right out of nowhere, it attacked him! Look under 0his left eye (your right) he's got a little cut. That Buddha has a mean left hook. John and I were completely shocked as we were always under the impression that Buddha was a peacemaker. This behavior is not what you'd expect from a deity of his caliber. Buddha, that is.

Jackson getting him back.

You should see the other guy.
(Well, honestly, the other guy is made of stone, he looks about the same.)

Happy Birthday to That Baby

That baby really enjoyed playing in the mulch.

The amazingly gratuitous cuteness of it all.

Behold the birthday boy in all his voluptuous glory.

Hair today, gone tomorrow

What Bella used to look like

John and I went out to a concert and left Liam, Bella and Jackson with our favorite babysitter. When we woke up this morning, John said, "Hey. There's blonde hair on the floor in our bathroom."

I went and checked it out. Isabella was still asleep and I very nearly woke her to survey the damage, but she was asleep face down, so I had to wait.

When she awoke, it was pretty clear what had happened. I asked her to tell me the story. Apparently, Bella went into our master bathroom to look for her toothbrush and found haircutting scissors instead. She spontaneously decided that her bangs were really long and bothering her and she just couldn't wait one more minute.

Kat: "So, when you came out of the bathroom, what did the babysitter say?"

Bella: "She didn't even notice! I guess I did a good job!"

See for yourselves... The "after" shot:

What Bella looks like now

There was just a touch of deja vu. On Father's Day 2003, Maddie decided that she really wanted her hair cut and just couldn't wait one more minute. I had some wrapping paper and scissors out upstairs in our bedroom. She took huge sewing scissors out and cut her hair. Lots of hair. And all on the one side of her head. From one side, her hair looked absolutely perfect. From the other side, full blown mullet.

Boys on the Side

I just love these boys. Jackson is finally to the age where he's not so fragile. For some time, I could only really leave Jackson in Maddie's care because she knows her own strength and doesn't play too aggressively with the babe. Liam and Bella tended to overestimate how much roughhousing he could handle. Now, he can actually fight back for the most part, so I can trust the other kids to watch him. Also, Maddie is gone for the week in Ohio and I need to shower. As they say, necessity is the mother of compromise. That is what they say, right?

Tub fun

Jackson loves the bathtub. We spent the afternoon at the pool and he and Bella really needed rinsed off. It was easier to just throw them in together. I've had to segregate tub time since the kids are getting older, but Jackson and Bella in the tub together was pretty funny.

A few months ago, I had to have a serious conversation with Liam about, well, urinating in the bathtub. Especially when the girls are next in line to get in after him. As soon as I put Jackson in the tub with Bella tonight, he stood in the water and peed directly into the water. Bella found it disgusting and quite offensive. I had to give her the same explanation that we have to give when they ask why we would encourage baby Jackson to burp, but we yell at them when they do it. Life is full of inequities.

Sympathy for the Devil

I went into Ohio for the weekend and took the two kids that look and act more like me (Maddie and Jackson). I left John with the two kids that look and act more like him (the other two).

We recently received the Guitar Hero video game as a gift. For those who don't know - it comes with a "guitar" that you play different songs on. It's cool and kinda like the video game equivalent of crack. Saturday afternoon, John and Liam were having a Guitar Hero mini-marathon. The doorbell rang and John went to get it. Liam doesn't miss a beat. Literally. John answers the door and finds a... well, a door-to-door religion salesman. We're not really sure whether he was a Jehovah's Witness or from Latter-Day Saints or what. He was chatting away with John. Suddenly, Liam starts a new song. "dun dun DUN, dun dun DUN, dun dun DUN, SHOUT AT THE DEVIL! dun dun DUN, dun dun DUN, dun dun DUN, SHOUT AT THE DEVIL!"

John smiles and shrugs his shoulders at the friendly religious guy at the door.

John: "Kids."

A Little Reggae, A Little Rum

Happy Birthday, Grandma!

Excuses? Hmmm....

There are always excuses for long blog hiatuses. I won't bore you. It's just life. It's been happening to me in the most unexpected ways and at the most unexpected times. It has just been full. Full of laughter and tears. Beginnings and endings. Planning and executing. Laundry and dishes.

Most importantly, I can't get enough of that baby. Sound asleep in my arms, yet I can't bring myself to lay him down. The time is slipping away too quickly and my last baby can get up and walk away. I'm not ready.

Freeze this moment for me? Please?

A Warped Sense of Reality

I found an old post that I never published. I guess it never felt complete, but here it is...

This is a difficult post to write. I have to find that delicate place between honesty and conceit. The fact is, our kids have always done well at things - excelled in certain areas. Don't get me wrong - we've had our fair share of "constructive criticism" at parent-teacher conferences, too. They are human. Partly, at least. We think the other part may be North American Hairless Monkey.

So, unfortunately for each subsequent Hickey child, the bar has been set pretty high. For example, after three years in a Waldorf preschool, having no exposure to letters before his first day of first grade, Liam learned to read in about four weeks. Not to be outdone, Maddie learned in the first three weeks of first grade.

Often, Maddie and Bella will be working on a drawing at the kitchen table. Bella will be blissfully drawing and after a while, look over at Maddie's work. Maddie has a level of intensity when drawing that cannot be matched. We just have to protect her space and let her work. Bella looks at Maddie's drawing, then at hers, then back at Maddie's. "I'm not a good artist," Bella inevitably replies. What do I say? No, Bella, you are an extraordinary artist. Your drawings, for age four, are quite advanced. Bella's teachers are impressed by how fully formed and fleshed out her drawings are. However, Maddie is almost three years older. Oh, and she's a freak of nature. How do you explain that to a four year-old who just wants her drawings to look as good as her sister's?

And then there's that baby. We have very athletic children. The kids have all spent most of their lives outside, so they learned to climb trees and build snowmen and generally are pretty coordinated. As babies, they all were ahead of the "typical" curve of baby development. Everyone sat up, crawled and walked before a year. Jackson will be 8 months in a few days and he's not walking yet. Ever since that Maddie walked at 7 months, the bar is high. It's sad to be a tiny bit disappointed in a baby that's just not walking yet.

The Very Last Day

Maddie and Liam on the first day of school

Maddie and Liam on the last day of school

Today is the last day of school. I loved having them in the same class together this year. Not something I want for them every year, but for this year, I liked it. They barely noticed that they were in the same class: they found their own way and carved out their own niche. I just liked hearing tales of their day - the same experiences - from two different perspectives. Maddie was always first to report who was cranky at Liam or what he got yelled at about. Liam was more likely to tell a slightly exaggerated story about how fantastic something that he did was. Occasionally, we did get the odd story about Maddie and how she *loves* Georgie.

As I look at the pictures, there is something intangible gained in the last nine months. They have aged and matured. They look more confident, more secure with their own styles. It was hard for us to decide to change schools, but they are so ready for bigger and better things. The mind swims with the possibilities.

Quote of the Day

Maddie and Bella are home today with low-grade fevers. Maddie has a cough and snot and general gross-ness. Bella's just cranky and tired. We decided to sit out on the front lawn to eat our lunch. A large landscaping truck with a trailer drives by, turns around in the cul-de-sac and drives away.

Bella: "Mom, am I allowed to say 'what the hell'?"

Kat: "Um... no."

[long pause]

Bella: "What in the world was that truck doing in the middle of the road?"

Highlights

We spent Easter night on the beach at Siesta Key in Sarasota. The ultimate Jack Sparrow imitator showed up halfway through and the kids got a huge kick out of it.

Easter at Grandpa Ken's place

I wish I could represent the brunch buffet at the Renaissance. It was incredibly delicious and I may never be able to eat normal brunch again. The kids had a great time - they loved the Easter egg hunt. We are completely spoiled for future Easters.

The Good News and The Bad News

Good news: Bella looked like she was going to come down with what Maddie has, but she managed to fight it off.

Bad news: Liam's got it. Which means I had all four kids at home all day today.



Good news: After four days of being in the house with sick kids, I finally got out of the house alone to run to the convenience store.

Bad news: I was wearing my pajamas.

Really bad news: They were last night's pajamas.

As if the hats weren't enough...

It's not nice. Really. The things we do to our children for our amusement. Not nice at all.

Jackson, February 2007

Here's the thing. His head got wet and we smoothed his hair over to one side and it sort of looked like the Hitler comb-over. A little. So we grabbed an eyeliner and penciled in a little Hitler-stache. Wait. That's what any parent would do, right? Except. Um. Well, when you do something repeatedly... when it's a pattern... is it pathological? We've had the Children's Services Board called on us before. I guess it's your call.

Liam and Maddie, January 2001