Douchebag kids

Please pardon the indelicate language, but I really don't have another word for it that doesn't involve profanity. We also often refer to these kids as "shit-head" kids, too. I posted an article on Facebook about a week ago that really addressed this issue well. (http://www.details.com/sex-relationships/marriage-and-kids/200711/are-you-raising-a-douchebag?currentPage=1) Then, we hosted an end of school party for Maddie and about eleven of her friends. We got to see this behavior in action and it was spectacular.

There was one particular child who really stood out in this realm. I will attempt to defend my diagnosis of this behavior with examples below. Keep in mind that this child is going into 6th grade.

Exhibit A:

Maddie carefully planned the food and drink for the party. We had some foods that were what we call "compromise foods". For parties, we don't serve hard-core paleo or all grass-fed meat, unless that is the eating style of all the attendees. We thought that all-beef hot dogs, beef sliders, fruits and veggies, chips and dip and pretzels were a good compromise - kids would eat it and we didn't have to feel bad about serving it. Since we don't allow our kids to have soda, we put out lemonade, water, real fruit juice and we made a sparkling juice drink with sparkling water and juice concentrate. Kind of like an Izze, but without the price tag and all those bottles.

The Kid: [looks at the drinks set out on the counter] What is there to drink?

Kat: [gesturing to the counter in front of him] "Right here. Take your pick."

The Kid: "Ummmmmm... don't you have any Pepsi?!?"

Kat: "Nope, sorry. We don't serve pop to kids. The drink in the pitcher is sweet and carbonated, if you want to try that."

The Kid: [sighs] "That's all right." [walks away]



Exhibit B:

We had told the kids to bring their bathing suits because we would have a water balloon fight, sprinklers, etc. The Kid brought a water gun to share in the water festivities. The weather was a little iffy and it thunderstormed right after everyone arrived, then cleared up after about an hour.

The Kid: "When are we going to the pool?"

Kat: "We aren't planning to go to the pool today."

The Kid: "Then, why he was I supposed to bring my bathing suit?!"

Kat: "Ummmm... because of the water games and the water gun you brought?"

The Kid: "I really wanted to go down to the pool."

Kat: "Yeah. We're staying here tonight."


About an hour later...

The Kid returns with another kid.

The Kid: "We're going to go down to the pool."

Kat: "Um, you can't just go down to the pool. You have to be 14 years old and a resident of our neighborhood to go to the pool alone."

The Kid: "Well, we'll just walk down there and check it out, then."

Kat: "No. You're not going to walk down there and check it out. You were invited to a party here and I am responsible for you. If you would like to go somewhere else, you can call and ask someone to come pick you up."

The Kid looks stunned. He turns and walks away.



Exhibit C - and my favorite

Maddie had baked some cookies and also planned to do s'mores outside at the fireplace. She planned it all out and had everything displayed neatly. The kids were outside making s'mores, happily eating and laughing. Suddenly, Bella enters with The Kid following close behind. They open the fridge and stand in front of it.

Bella: "Well, what do you want? Coconut, goat, what?"

The Kid: "Regular."

Bella: "What do you mean?"

The Kid: "You know, regular milk."

Bella: "What's regular? Like goat milk?"

The Kid: [starting to get irritated] "What?!? NO! I *said* I want *regular milk*!"

Bella: [getting equally irritated] "Would you just tell me what 'regular milk' means to you?!?!"


I desperately wanted to intervene and tell her that 'regular milk' was store-bought cow's milk and that we didn't have any. But I couldn't stop laughing.


So, folks. What do you think? Is my diagnosis accurate?